re: CHANGE IS GOOD

this blog made me think. Not too long ago devin told me that he is bored in our relationship. he said that some girl approached him and when he went to tell her that he's in a relationship he felt "funny". like he didnt WANT to tell her. but he did. so he came home and told me this and we were talking. he told me that he felt funny because he is bored in our relationship. we never go anywhere, do anything. i was offended. only because i thought to myself "well suggest something for us to do." i felt offended because some women made him REALIZE he is bored in our relationship. but i just thought maybe i was being childish. i credit him for even TELLING me that he felt he didnt want to tell the women about me. so i asked my best friend and my cousin (the two people that know me best) if i seem different since poots has been born. and if so how. well my best friend said that i dont seem as happy as i use to be. which is true. i am not. and my cousin said that i seem so much older. but not in like a good, mature, "im a mom" type older way. like a OLD LADY type older. she said that when she sees me i have scarves on my head and i dont dress sexy anymore. which is also true.
well i have confessed in past blogs that i was going through a lot with depression and self esteem post baby. i just didnt feel sexy and pretty, or even happy anymore. so it SHOWED! i stopped doing my hair (well i permed it and then cut it all off), i stopped dressing sexy, i didnt even want to make love to devin. and things got REALLY bad. there were times i would go WEEKS without makign love. or ANY type of affection. no hugs, kisses, touches.
so i said all of that to say i can understand why he would feel bored. and i shouldnt have gotten offended when he brought this to my attention. i was just going through so much at the time. (and still am might i add). but my outlook on my relationship is a lil different.
i want to keep things HOTT! i dont want to be one of those women that have a baby and everything goes down hill. my cousin suggested that i just get up and do my hair and put my make up on even if i am just around the house. another friend said that "giving it up" on the regular helps a lot too. and so i have been doing these things. lol. its been fun. i have gotten my hair done. which i ABSOLUTLY loooove. i got a weave. and it stays done. we have been making love more regular now. its more DAILY . but not like we used to (2 and 3 times a day) but it's better then WEEKS of nothing. lmaooo.
i'm working towards a better me. a hotter more confident me. i made a appointment with a therapist today. to help me work on myself. i'll keep you posted on that. i want to keep my man INTERESTED!! and wanting me. nobody said mothers cant be HOTT!. lmaooo. I AM A HOTT MAMA!!