Wednesday, February 25, 2009

HAIR: my bun

mmm....i cant believe what i did today...*bows head low in shame and disbelief*. well i FINALLY got around to being able to make my MOE GROW mix. so im heating the oil, like the instructions say, and my DINGY ASS pours the HOT (YES HOT) oil, into a PLASTIC bottle!!ok, so if you have all of ur thinking abilities and u are reading this, (something i obviously didnt have today) u know my next set of events involves the bottle melting and my lovely oil and herbs going everywhere. AUGHHHHH!! idk y i didnt put two and two together.....so anyway, this is a pic of how my hair is tonight:



and YES u do see me in the cardigan i wanted. REMEMBER, i said i wanted to invest in a few of those..i did. 4 to be exact. a cream , black, tan, and royal blue one.

RAISING A REVOLUTIONARY

i cant belive that she is almost one years old. i think back to a year ago, and i marvel at how she has grown. and what she can do now. i think about the future, and how she WILL grow. i think about the person she was 12 mos ago, and how helpless she was, to this dynamic fire that she is today. i almost cry when i think of what she could become. What she WILL become. and i want to make sure that i am doing EVERYTHING in my POWER to encourage her to be HER. To do what she wants, to fight for who she is. to not give a damn about people, what they say, what they think. How do i raise THAT type or person. a person not afraid of, and will take part in, hell START a revolution. somene who cannot be shut up, or shut down. someone not afraid to die for her cause. not for popularity, but for self fulfillment as a human being. i want her accept every part of who she is. and while she doesnt have to scream and shout it, simutaniously unafraid to show it. i want to more importantly then HAVE everything i didnt, BE everything i am not. i want her to be stronger then i ever could be. HOW do i do that?? what does it tak of me?

VIDEO: STACEYANN CHIN

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VIDEO:STACEYANN CHIN

Watch more AOL Black Voices videos on AOL Video

VIDEO:STACEYANN CHIN

the first time i heard of this chinese jamaican women, i had made a DILIGENT effort to watch her on the Oprah show. Oprah had a segment called GAY AROUND THE WORLD. it touched on life for LGBT's around the world. there is soooo much to think about in this life. so much to know. i say this because i first of all i have never even contemplated the race of chinese jamaican. NEVER once thought about it. it makes me wonder about ALL the races and POSSIBLE combinations of people out there. and how i would like to see them, ask them about thier experiences in this world. THis world that i have sooooo blindly thought only about in black, white, asian, or a mix or ONLY those three. what about a mix or iranian and japanese. i saw a little boy once mixed like that. and i felt something run through me. i dont know WHY. it was just amazing the combitions and situations people get themselves into in the name of love. lol. and it makes such beautiful people. such.....(to be really lame) eye candy. lol. Second: i have never thought about gay people in other places other then America. Its sad what people have to go through. Its sad that people cant just LEAVE people alone. i am not saying to AGREE with LGBT, to TRY it, to LIKE it even. But i am saying noone should have to hated or hurt for WHO THEY ARE!! Hate people that sit and REALLY choose to act like a asshole or a bitch through the day. Hate the straight mutha fuckas that do cruel things in this world. MOST of the time it is NOT LGBT person that does these sick things ( i.e murder, rape, killing thier children, taunting and teasing, hate the man or the women that walks out and leave their child parentless, hate the people tha are LIVING off of the state and our hard earned tax dollars) it is a straight. so if there is a need to hate choose your battles / hate wisely.

i have ever so gently fallen head over heels for Saceyann Chin. THe way she delivers her poetry, the words fly out of her mouth like she is a fire breathing dragon, and singes the hair off her audiences face. she is a activist and a feminist.

THis is my favrite poem by her
its called NAILS:

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Monday, February 23, 2009

WEDDING STORIES: with this hair



WEDDING STORIES : i like these as a wedding dress





WEDDING STORIES: untraditional

im thinking of going in a different direction for my wedding. i KNEW i didnt want a white dress. now i'm thinking or deep purple. purple is my absolute FAVORITE color. so im think of EITHER a purple flowy dress and keeping my hair twisted up somehow and stil keeping it very earthy. OR im thinking of taking it a lil more GLAM. a not so flowy dress a straight weave. HMMMM????

PLAYING IN MAKE UP

well, as u all know (i hate when people start sentences with "well" and here i go) i have been delving into the more girlie side of myself. dressing better ( no more sweats, jeans, and flip flops ) , keeping my hair done, and wearing make up. (i KNOWWWWW...i had problems) but i will begin to label the make up pics i post PLAYING IN MAKE UP. here is my first entry
I have a burnt orange lip, brown eyes, no foundation


as u can see...its still VERY safe. lmaooo. i aint trynna look like a clown. the burnt orange lip was a bit far out of my confort zone. lol.


i have burnt orange lip, green eyes, no foundation



OOOOHHH LAWD!! this is what i dont know about. i think i got a bit happy. lmaooo i matched purple lips, blue eyes, and no foundation



Sunday, February 22, 2009

1940's Inspiration.

So i Believe that i will begin a series here on my blog called 1940's inspiration. and pretty much it will just be me trying new hair styles that are inspired by that of the style in the 1940's and pin up era. i LOVE this look. So anytime there is the title 1940's Inspiration: it will be something about my hair or it's style.

But here is my first entry:

She is REALLY OLD fashioned looking ( especially them glasses) but i think she is sooooooo CUTE. lool.



So here is my take:



The Top and Sides:




The style is called Victory Rolls. lmaooo. Even the hair style for very WWII patriotic. But i two strand twisted my hair to the side into one big two strand to give the roll effect. i liked it.

African American HAirstyles of the 1940's . VERY interesting link
http://northbysouth.kenyon.edu/2000/Beauty/School.htm

although

I havnt been keeping with my goals too much I am proud that I have continued going to my meetings weekly. Even today...when I woke up this morning I was sooooo sleepy. But I forced myself up and went. One of the fears I have is to come hear and see darnell. Blah!! It would make my stomach turn. And its not even that I don't ant to see him. Its just that I am trying to put what happened behind me. I want to move on from it. I mean....I hve mentally, but now I want to physicaalyy. And what I mean by that is, I want hings to LOOK right. Not that I am trying to impress people or even carring what people think. But there are times people won't allow u to move on. I am afrid tht darnell and I start showing up to the hall at the same time people will look at that and try to come to conclusions.. they will draw the wrong conclusions! And I don't want that. I want to be as far removed from him as possible. At one time people were thinking poots was his baby. I was soo mad. Mind u...our relationship ended long before poots was even thought of. Long before devin and I were even in a relationship. I have moved on with my life. I have my own family, I am getting married, I don't want to be connected to him in any way.
Thinking of something eles....when I woke up this morning and I was getting dressed for the meeting, I noticed there was something bothering. Not physically but mentally. I was taking my bath with something weighing heavy on my mind. It was my conscious. Now I have always had a conscious. But given my lifestyle these past few years it has become quit obvious that it has become dulled. Things that I have done (sex before marriage) just didn't bother me. But now it is. I'm happy.

Friday, February 20, 2009

me time

i think this weekend i will take a lil personal time. i would like to just go to dinner and a movie all alone. My dad went to see Madea Goes To Jail. He said it was funny. Ill prolly go see that. Lol. It is good to. Spend time alone. To know that I don't need anyone eles around me. Just me time

Thursday, February 19, 2009

1940's INSPIRED NATURAL

LATELY I HAVE BEEN TOOO MUCH INTO ALL THINGS FASHION, MAKE UP, HAIR AND SHOES. LOL. ITS SOOO GIRLY AND FUN. I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN IN LOVE WITH VINTAGE FASHIONS AND STYLES. SPECIFICALLY THE 1940'S AND 70'S. I HAVE EMBARKED ON MIXING MY PERSONAL NATURAL WITH INSPIRATION FROM THESE ERAS. NAMELY THE 1940'S. I AM INTERESTED IN PIN UP STYLE-ISH.I WANT TO INVEST IN GARDER BELTS AND STOCKINGS AND PRETTY BRAS. OMG SPEAKING OF WHICH. I CALL MYSELF BUYING A PRETTY BRA THIS PAST WEEKEND. SMH..LOOKING AT IT I THOUGHT IT WOULD FIT. I THOUGHT I COULD FORCE MY DDD'S INTO A DD CUP. I HAVE DONE IT BEFORE. I MUST ADMITT, I WAS A LITTLE MORE DELUSIONAL BECAUSE THE BRA WAS SOOOO BEAUTIFUL. WELL I PUT IT ON AND THE SHIT POPED AND I LOOKED 10 KARAT STUPID!!. MMMMMMM! IT REALLY PISSES ME OFF THAT IT SEEMS AS THOUGH I CANT FIND A PRETTY DDD BRA. ITS LIKE ONCE THE MANUFACTURERS GO PAST DD THEY STOP CARING. THEY START GETTING SHITTY WITH IT, AND MAKING SHIT OUTTA SHEEPS WOOL AND UGLY ASS BAT SHIT. IUNNO. NOTICE MY INCREASE IN PROFANITY..IT REALLY PISSES ME OFF. ALL MY LIFE I BEEN IN SEARCH OF THE PERFECT BRA. TO NO AVAIL. SO ANYWAY...THIS IS MY TAKE ON A LIL 1940'S INSPIRED STYLE WITH A NATURAL TWIST.




I PLAN ON DOING MUCH MORE. INCLUDING THIS OVER THE WEEKEND:



JANELLE MONEA DID SOMETHING SIMILAR WITH HER NATURAL. I LIKE IT

last week i took the curly weave down

I MUST SAY THAT WAS MY FAVORITE DO IN A LONG TIME. AND I WAS RELUCTANT TO TAKE IT DOWN. BUT IT WAS 3 1/2 WEEKS OLD AND I NEEDED TO GET SOMETHING THAT WOULD LAST ME A WHILE. BEINGS THOUGH I KNEW I WOULDNT BE HAVING ANY MONEY COMMING IN TO GET MY HAIR DONE ANY TIME SOON. I DECIDED ON MICRO MINI BRAIDS. THIS IS THE STYLE IM WEARING IT IN NOW. ITS MY TAKE ON THIS




Wednesday, February 18, 2009

VIDEO: POOTS SIPPED FROM A STRAW!!

OMG!! i go to New York for three days and when i get back she looks bigger and can sip from a straw!! OMG it is WONDERFUL! i love her. it is soooo cute. i cant believe it. well i havnt recorded it yet so i will leave you with this video of her trying to get up on the coach. lmaoooo. lol.
video

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

MORE PICS FROM NEWYORK





Trip To BROOKLYN NEW YORK


it was fun. but i think the next time i go i will go alone. i will have sooo much more fun if it is just me and sam. and not me sam and two other people. i mean, devin was fun, he was great. but still. idk. here is a short video of us at ihop in Manhattan lol. fun timesi love the people of New York. The way they dress, and seem. i mean not that they are NICCEEE, but i think its the mood. idk what the hell it is i just like it. lol
video

Monday, February 9, 2009

The "JOHN Q" in me

i am sitting here watching this movie. JOHN Q. i have seen it before. But as i am watching it again , it is SOOO much more powerful and touching NOW that i am a parent. There was a scene, where he was willing to kill himself so that his son could have his heart. He said "my son will bury me! i will NOT bury my son!" As a parent i couldnt fatham EVER burying my daughter. HOw does a parent get through the death of a child?

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Drama as Usual

i am so tired of it. Dont i say that EVERYTIME there is drama? So anyway, Devin losthis job again. Due to no fault of his own.i have been reluctant to tell ANYONE. As a matter of a fact i HAVNT told a SOUL. kindda dealing with shit alone. this is a piece of a convo i had with my friend Sam.

soul_frodisiac: and I"LL be wrong
soul_frodisiac: and my mom is on my nerves
soul_frodisiac: my job is on my nerves
soul_frodisiac: yo EVERYTHING
amethystine225: uhoh
amethystine225: we should go to a gym
soul_frodisiac: yo my life is EVERYTHING wrong ALL the time
soul_frodisiac: i dont understand for real
soul_frodisiac: right
soul_frodisiac: there is no reason i cant go in the am
amethystine225: u shouldnt say that
amethystine225: the universe is listening
amethystine225: whatever u say
amethystine225: u get
amethystine225: say
amethystine225: my life is great all the time
amethystine225: instead
amethystine225: n try to believe it
soul_frodisiac: mmmmm
soul_frodisiac: tru
soul_frodisiac: u so sweet
amethystine225: i try

I hate feeling this way. Devin lost his job, i havnt been keeping with my goals, my Boss is acting like a dick suddenly. idk WHAT his problem is. im struggling to pay the gas and electric, put gas in the car, and food on the table. til devin finds a job i gotta hold that shit down myself. my mom told me "it seems like u LIKE being disfellowshipped" and "Everything that i have ever done for u has back fired on me" and "i wish u would just find another job so i dont have to deal with you!" Devin always saying shit.i always angry. there are times i just wanna run away with poots and be gone for like 6 weeks or some dumb ass shit. iunno.

but on the plus side. i got my phone i wanted!! it is soooo cool. and i will be paying for school. things will get better

Monday, February 2, 2009

Curly Weave after TWO WEEKS

Its still lookin good. i am thinking of taking it down to get some braids, or spring twist. but i have two more weeks to go and i sorta dont wanna be wastful. i like it too. but idk. i may go this friday and get my spring twist.