imma just put it all out on the table.....I'm sure this has tortured for centuries

Y do men cheat? Call me insecure but I believe its because they want the sweet, mother of their child, average looking women at home. To come home to a cooked meal, clean house, and KNOWING she's faithful and always there. But there is a deeper darker part of every man that is guided by his penis. And this is all he thinks about. And this part of every man desires to cheat with the "hot mama". Big ass, firey personality, long straight hair down her back. Just everything that you are not. I get mad at myself because I don't put this past noooo man. I have been through so much shit in my life with men and the such that if a good man were to smack me n the face I wouldn't recognise it. Poor devin pays for this a everyday (damn near) with me. I hate it. And I know its not healthy for our relationship. But I look at him sideways with everything he does. I question him when he doesn't want me to answer his phone. I don't believe him when he says he's going certain places. Now...don't get me wrong. We have both done some shit in our relationship. But its like I can't get past his. Since those things have happened (he's never cheated just dumb ass shit happen) I just can bring myself to trust. Since other things in my life has happened I just can't bring myself to trust. And I feel he wants me to trust him COMPLETELY and UNCONDITIONALLY. And I can't. He wants to be able to have female friends and I not question it, have calls and I not question it, and other stuff that I'm not supposed to question. The thing is why shouldn't he be able to? We should BOTH be able to do these things without any problems and have one another still trust that we are faithful and acting how we are supposed to. But all I can think is that he is a young man and cheating is what they do. I'm sorry devin. I do love you

Just Writting

about nothing in particular. i am so tickled over my new sidekick. lmaoooo. its so cool. i like gadgets though. i havnt payed Devin any mind since i got and thats a shame because i was hardly paying him mind in the first place with Poots being around and all now. lmaoooo. he expressed interest lately in going back to school. these past couple of days he has been talking about going back to school. and this morning he actually had a job interview (kiki stands and gives a round of applause!) lol. BOUT DAMN TIME!! i'm so tired of that piece od shit job. i wonder y he isnt too. anyway, poots is doing good these days. sitting up and being all extra sweet and cute. she had to stay with my mom last night while i was working. i wonder how she did. i miss her. i thought about her and looked her picture all night long. its rediculous because i should have been and could have been enjoying this time to myself....but all i could do is think about her lil butt. lmaooo. cant wait to see it. i took a pregnancy test last week. WHEW!! neggative. i guess its my body getting back into wack after having her but i SWEAR it feels like a baby is in there moving a kicking. and i was extra scared too because i heard that after ur first baby u can feel and show A LOT earlier then with ur first. hmmmm...if i were pregnant again i would be so irritated with myself. i mean i loooove children and i love my baby but i dont want anymore til after we are married and finncish school.

i am so sleepy. i need poots to stop fussing when i leave her a lone for a second. or if i'm not ready to wake up when she is. lol. damn it i be sleepy! but she does lay there for a while ,while i catch an extra wink. then she start kickin me all in my dang back. lol. like "ok i'm ready to play now mommy wake up!" and who can resist those cheeks. NOT ME. so i get up and play with her. but i'll be damned if i aint sleepy. lol

in my heart i feel she is the best thing to ever happen to me. when we are apart i hold my breath til i see her again. and when i hold her, nothing could pry my hands from her little waiste. i pray for her blessings cause she deserves each and every one of them. simply because she is a angel and shinning light in my life. i could write about her forever. i shared a little of my ice cream with her yesturday. lol. she looked so funny eatting it. her little face would wrinkle in that way she does when she's tasting something different and new, other then mommy milk. lmaooo. with ice cream running down her chin. i kiss her awkward shaped head and pull her close to me. lmaooo

KOOL THINGS : keep the peace alive

1. Poots
2.Blogging
3.My new sidekick slide (which i so affectionatly call my sideslick: THANK YOU CHARDAA!!)
4.my books of knowlege (who ever said knowledge is power was a truth tellin mo'fo)
5.the prospect of going back to school in the beginning of the year (January 2009 wooooo!!!)
6. finding my major and passion
7. conviently finding my school on line (the perfect price, time. mmmm...i dont have to leave poots, waist gas ect)
8. shea butter
9. Devin
10. watching vintage episodes of SOUL TRAIN @ 3:30 a.m (i love the music, style, so funky fresh to def)

Poots Sits up

this weekend she's been sitting up on her own!! after a while she'll fall over. loool. but the point is she's sitting up now!! b4 i know it she wont be falling over. she goes from 0-60 in no time. its like just thursday night she was falling over but on friday morning devin was holding her in his lap and said "keshai! look she's sitting up on her own! i'm not holding her up!" and saturday she was sitting up on the bed. i'm so proud of her. she growing and developing so nicely. i say this and portray this to her but in my heart i really wish she'd stop. lol. i dont want her grow up at all , let alone do dang fast. she's my poots. i just wish i could keep her small and under my wing forever. and with every new feat i picture her growing and not needing me. lol. no, i wont focuse on that. because although she may not always NEED, she will always WANT me and keep me close to her. mmm....i think about people who grow up and barely call their mothers, or talk to them.or worse yet put them in nursing homes to die and never visit them. mmmm..if things ever got to the point that i absolutly HAD to put my mother in a home i would visit her daily. i promise. i understand that not everyone can care for thier elderly parents cause, shit ,by the time most parents are elderly. thier children are damn near elderly themselves. lmaoooo. i just want us to stay close no matter what. sometimes i dont think children realize how much thier parents love them. i know i didnt know til poots came along.

Holistic Parenting From A Pan Afrikan Perspective

http://www.afrikanparenting.com/
i finnished this book and it was really good. a step by step guide to holistic parenting. poots and i had fun reading it. lol. i will continue to do all that i can recommended from this book. mmmmm...i know it will be hard. but isnt life. im saying it will be hard because i have noooo support in this area of my life. devin and his entire family buck at anything that is afrikan or holistic. and i get tired of feeling ganged up on. but its a small price to pay for the healthy development of my girl. i just wish that i could be left alone. and my decisions be just that MY DECISIONS. mrs paula can do all the controling she wants when Aerica has her baby in the future. lol. i mean not that she is CINTROLLING. but i know things will be different for the child that aerica has v.s my chil (akira). i say this because my ideals are different from thiers, devin is different from them. his whole childhood has been riddled with how they have treated him so much more different then his bro and sis. so i am not surprised if this goes for his kids too. i mean the most they have bought for akira is a Ravens baby bib, and THAT WAS THIS PAST WEEK! oh and a pack of wipes. lol. its just annoying to me that no matter what they always have soemthing to say. and its annoying because this is the way i choose to raise my child and i feel it should be respected. and not be talked to everytime they dont like something. just respect it as different and keep it moving. and this is what i'm talking about when i say its harder for me to mix in with his family. because that is what i am doing.he is not mixing in with mine.

i am totally gonna get pretty

been doing good with my watermelon/ tea detox. havnt gotten all out that i wanted to. but its still good. getting the impurities out has caused a small break out but whatever. i know its only the beginning of something good. its so funny how ur body chooses to rid itself from crap! mmm..so this weekend i totally plan on getting hair, nails, and eye brows done. sounds like fun huh? i think.

i wish more people would read and comment on my blog

i loooove blogging and writting about my life and would looove to have some comments. but i dont know how to promote my blog more. get it in places. what has anyone eles done to get people to read thier blogs and post comments....right, i'm saying this like someone is ACTUALLU going to read my blog and comment. lol
i read other people's blog and i see all the comments and really get envious of that.i wonder how they do it.

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When:
Friday Sep 05, 2008
at 5:00 PM


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Just Me

So this week i bought a black and purple sidekick and lemme tell u i am in love with it!! it is sooo cool. i am all day i.m-ing folks. lol. its so cool. i feel like a young hipster. although i am old and a mommy. lol. but i like it. anyways. last night i was over devins parents house and of course i always have a new story about those adventures. so they ALL (devin, his parents and his sister) were ganging up on me about how long i plan to breastfeed and why i havnt introduced jarred food to her yet. GEESH! the child can even sit up on her own yet. she doesnt need jarred food. she's fine with her mommy's milk. i told them that her dr said she doesnt need anything eles and they said " well is he a breastfeeding extreamist?" i was like "no, but if she dont need it, y give it to her." she's fine with what i am giving her. her thighs are nice and fine from my milk i make. and i will continue to breastfeed her til i feel good and ready to stop. if she dont need it y give it to her. people just dont like breastfeeding and they get on my nerves about it. i love it. imma do it for a year, like she needs and everyone eles can shut up about. they was saying "u r not giving her all she needs cause u dont eat EVERYTHING she needs." and proceeded to list a list of things and ask me if i was eatting those things. i was so mad, cause damn near everything this named i'm not eatting. but i do eat veggies. i eat broccoli, carrots, colliflower, fruits ect. she is getting all she needs. and i'm not supplementing her. they can say ad think what they want. i get so tired of constantly having to defend myself and my ideals to them. i wish they would just leave me alone when i say no. at any rate shes my daughter and i will do what i want with her. lol. there is a body worlds science exibit here in baltimore that i would like to see in the science center. i am looking forward to seeing that. this weekend i am going out with my friend matt from some years ago. we never lost contact but i havnt seen him in a while. anyways i think its dinner or something.

watermelon and herbal tea detox

BEGINNING THIS WEEKEND I WILL BE DOING A STRICTLY WATERMELON AND MILK THISTLE DETOX. CONSUMMING PRETYY MUCH ONLY THIS. PRAY FOR ME:

doctorariel.blogspot.com/2007/...e.html

bought some stuff for my detox.:
1 watermelon
2. lots of strawberries
3.liqid chlorophill
4.teas (milk thissle, fenugreek, and dandelion root
5. regular groceries
6. natural gel by KISS MY FACE
7.natural deodarant
i drank the tea yesturday...mmmm. my sytem feels lighter and better allllready! i cleaned the kitchen last night and devin cleaned the bathroom. so everything is all nice and peaceful in the house. today i'm going to do the liquid chloraphill. hope it aint too nasty. lol

1.HOLISTIC PARENTING FROM A PAN AFRIKAN PERSPECTIVE
2.HOLISTIC HEALTH
3.OF WATER AND SPIRIT
4. BLACK WOMEN GODESS
5. HEAL THYSELF
6.SURVIVAL GUIDE FOR AFRIKANS IN AMERICA

i have started reading and am almost done with number 1. and i have also started number 2. completed number 5.

5 books i'm reading

1.HOLISTIC PARENTING FROM A PAN AFRIKAN PERSPECTIVE
2.HOLISTIC HEALTH
3.OF WATER AND SPIRIT
4. BLACK WOMEN GODESS
5. HEAL THYSELF
6.SURVIVAL GUIDE FOR AFRIKANS IN AMERICA

i have started reading and am almost done with number 1. and i have also started number 2. completed number 5.

ok so i bought

some stuff for my detox.:
1 watermelon
2. lots of strawberries
3.liqid chlorophill
4.teas (milk thissle, fenugreek, and dandelion root
5. regular groceries
6. natural gel by KISS MY FACE
7.natural deodarant
i drank the tea yesturday...mmmm. my sytem feels lighter and better allllready! i cleaned the kitchen last night and devin cleaned the bathroom. so everything is all nice and peaceful in the house. today i'm going to do the liquid chloraphill. hope it aint too nasty. lol

my own personal breastfeeding advocate

one of devin's friends just had a baby and his girlfriend wont breastfeed. she says she thinks its incest. its so sad how perversed this world has gotten that a mother is thinking that the act of breastfeeding her baby is something sexual. Sad really. But its her choice. so anyway, when devins friend told him this he said "ur baby's gonna be dumb. breastfed babys are smarter. and she's dumb as shit for thinking that breastfeeding is something sexual. whats the point in a womens breast LITERALLY filling with MILK if not to feed her baby." i was like "Geesh devin. u said that to him really?" he said yea and i just shook my head. i mean although he could have said it a lot more tacfully all of what he said is true. lmaoooo. but its funny because i remember when i was pregnant and i was telling him that i was planning on breastfeeding he said "good, cause if u werent i'd just attach her to u while u are sleep." loool i guess it funny to me because he's so stupid sometimes and i never thought that him of all people would understand the importance and practicality of breastfeeding. i love him for that.

watermelon and hebal tea detox

BEGINNING THIS WEEKEND I WILL BE DOING A STRICTLY WATERMELON AND MILK THISTLE DETOX. CONSUMMING PRETYY MUCH ONLY THIS. PRAY FOR ME:

doctorariel.blogspot.com/2007/...e.html

so this is what i am doing

In the end i would like to have my own business. a natural/ organic empire if u will, for people with low incomes. i dont know why. but natural/ organic things as a whole are EXPENSIVE! but we all deserve and need it. i think a lot of people revert back to chemicals and the such simply because it is so high to keep up with this life style. buying and eatting organic fruits and veggies, body care products, health care. all adds up. i want to make it as least expensive as possible for families. in the end i would like to own a business that specializes in
-Natural Hair Care
doing people's hair
-Hair/ Body Products
my own line of shampoos
conditioners
styling products
-Natural Health Care Practitioner
to practice in a health care facilty natural health care
-Organic fruits/ veggies
grow my own herbs, fruits, veggies, produce my own food
juicing
-Doula/ Midwifery
deliver babys naturally.

I want to provide these services with the deepest love and respect to those who need it the most. I want to care for my family with my skills. Spread this through out the community. making it available to all.

my ultimate goal as i said is to be able to work part time and have my business make the money for me so as to stay home with my daughter. to teach her from home.

i'm on crunch time. she starts school at 4 of course. i have 4 years to , not COMPLETE everything. But get this ball rolling so fast its not even funny!! lol i at least wanna finnish school

its 3:13 am and i am trying

to do every and anything possible to stay awake while at work. it is getting hard. working this night shift and not getting much sleep during the day. i went to sleep late yesturday when i ot off. not tim like 1 something, well anyway poots woke up arounf 4 and wanted to play so i had to entertain her. lol. besided when i tried to ignor her her kicks and grabbing my arm kept me awake. lol. i just got up. i called that damn Mcdonalds to see if i can start there again. i want to take a couple courses on line and i dont want to have to wait til income tax time. so... plus, we need flippin gas money. i am tired of running low on gas in the second week and having to as for some. devin is off on fridays and sundays. mom said she'd watch poots while devin and i work on saturdays. i know for damn sure i dont want to go back. but i need this. its only temporary. i have to keep telling myself. that my ultimate goal is to finnish school so that i can make enough money so i dont have to work full time or more then one job and i can spend more time with poots. she's my motivation and my first priority. lol. i work enough to support us but be able to spend the mojority of my time teaching her. i pray my milk doesnt dry up. it will only be on the weekends though. and i'll nurse her all the time that i am off. i will only be able to pump while on my 1/2 hour break from that place. the one thing i am glad about is this will allow poots and devin to spend more time together. i want them to be closer then what they are. its like his motivation for her has dwindled. when she was first born he was all up in my ass helping me. now i get a fight if i want her diaper changed or him to change her onsie. its annoying. i feel like if you are not working with me then you are working against me. and i aint got time

tea

Along with the seasonal change into winter comes crisp and chilling winds that inspire warm knitted and crocheted scarves, layered garments, mittens, and the warmth of fireplaces and candlelight. But what also comes along with the winter season is a change in moods, low energy, and most of all, a high level of people roaming around with the “under the weather” blues. A great way to add some warmth and health to your winter season is to indulge in a variety of hot herbal teas. Most teas are a relaxant and the concoctions that you can blend up at home are endless and can be quite addictive once you start.

The art of tea time can be quite healthy for your spirit as well. Tea associates itself with warmth, friends, coziness, and health. So create yourself your very own tea time to nurture your spirit & be creative with your blends and presentation. Even if the cup of tea is only for you. You are worth the tea time(check out our favorite picks on how to serve it it up creatively here: Servin Up Tea!)

Here are a few tip and recipes to get you started:

Drying Fresh Herbs: Drying your own herbs is quite easy. Simply take your bunch of herbs rinse and pat dry & shake, then remove any bad leaves. Take a brown paper bag and punch several small holes in it. Place the bunch of leaves into the bag with the stems sticking out of the bag. Tie the stems together along with the opening of the bag with some string or a rubber-band . Hang them up to dry for about two weeks or so. Once dry, remove any leaves that may have gone bad and store them whole in a clear canning jar or in a ziplock bag. Dried herbs can be used for up to one year. You can also use a dehydrator which takes much less time.

Steeping Your Tea: Bring a pot of your desired amount of water to a boil. Simply take your crushed or fresh leaves and put them in the pot and let boil for a few minutes. Bring the temperature down to medium low and let steep until it reaches your desired strength(the darker the tea the stronger your tea will be).

Tea Tip: When measuring, use 3-4 teaspoons of fresh herbs per one cup of water and 1-2 teaspoon if you are using dried herbs.

Tea Herb Garden: Create a tea herb garden by using a mixture of herbs that can be used for tea blends. If you live in a small space or apartment that does not lend well to gardening, then create yourself a container garden. I like to blend Chamomile flowers, Peppermint, Sage, Rosemary, and Lemon Balm together. Get creative with the blends. Be sure to either keep your containers on your patio or near a window. Open/crack your windows for a while to decrease mold/mildew on your leaves. Container blends are also quite aromatic and lovely to decorate with outside or in a room with proper sun-light and temperature.

Tea Tip: Bring charm to your garden. If you create a tea garden or a container garden, make some creative markers by labeling them with the remedies in which the plant is good for. For example, where your Chamomile, is planted, mark it: Rest & Relaxation, and so on and so on.

Essential Tea Herbs:

Peppermint: great for relaxation, easing an upset stomach, aids in digestion and can relieve headaches.

Chamomile: reduces cold symptoms, helps those with problems sleeping(relaxant), calms the nerves.

Sage & Thyme: great for cold congestion, coughing, and sinuses

Dandelion: detoxifying properties & Cleanses the liver

Lemon Balm: energy booster, headaches, high blood pressure

Rosemary: aids to a healthy liver, eases joint pains, and reduces and heals cold symptoms

Scullcap: great to take during your menstrual cycle, reduces upset nerves and anxiety

Thyme: immune booster, soothes ore throats and coughs


Tea Tip: When drying your herbs,leave the leaves whole and only crush them at the time you make your tea. This will ensure that the aroma and taste stays fresh.

Dry Herbs, Spices, and Supplies:

www.mountainroseherbs.com

Add Some Flavor: Fruits and spices are fantastic to add to your tea blends. Fresh or dried fruits such as lemon, cranberries, apricots, raspberries, oranges, and spices such a ginger, cinnamon, cardamom, and anise are wonderful additions to customize your concoctions and bring charm to your tea cups!

Colds & Flu

1 oz Blackberry leaves

1 oz Elder flowers

1 oz Linden flowers

1 oz Peppermint leaves

Pour 1 cup boiling water over 2 tbs mixture. Cover & steep 10 minutes; strain.

Calming Tea

1 oz Lemon balm

1 oz Chamomile flowers

½ oz St Johns Wort

Steep 2 tbs of mixture in 1 cup boiled water. Cover 10 minutes; strain.

Nursing Mothers Tea

1 teaspoon crushed Fennel seeds

1 cup boiling water

Mix the seeds with the boiling water. Cover and steep for 10 minutes. Strain, and sip the infusion. Drinking a tea made with fennel helps to promote the secretion of breast milk in nursing mothers. Find More Great Recipes & Tea Tips Here: pages.prodigy.net/groovyskye/10.html

Tea Time for Health Reads:Herbal Tea Gardens, Herbal Tea: Nourishing Blends for Vitality

she wont eat

these past couple of nights while at home with Devin POtts wont drink her milk from her bottle. she has NEVER acted like this b4. Even when she started out on the bottles of pumped milk. Even if she didnt want to at first she would eventually give in and take her Dr. Brown's brand bottles. so i dont know what going on with that. and on top of that stupid bitches been running thier mouth about her being in here. i dont know why because i work alone so i dont know of what concern it is to any of them. u know?! they just mad cause i work a lone and she is able to come with me and they want to ruin for me. i got written up for it so i dont want to sneak her in here anymore. she and devin slept in the car last night so that he could bring her in to me when she woke up for eatting. he said he didnt mind cause she has to eat. he's right. i dont want her loosing weight or start fainting. idk what to do.

more questions

What advice would you give to mothers about being a new mother ?

That EVERYTHING gets better . Your body will adjust to breastfeeding and breaking ur sleep. To snap many pictures and cherish every part of ur child with u. Time flys and before u know they are gone away from u. Prayer and spirituality is key and necessary to everything u do with them.

How do you nurture your spirit, your health, your mind, and your beauty...any favorite regimens/rituals, products, etc.?

Spirit/ MInd: I pray, read and write. these are the three things i do to stay centered and calm. just the therapy of keeping a blog and feel so passionatly about a subject that i cant stop writting til my fingers hurt is what gets me through the day. being able to read some sort of spiritual literature to get my mind back on track. and pray and meditate on it.
Health: i am currently working on increasing my water intake. especially since i am breastfeeding. it is essentially that breastfeeding mother drink enough water and fresh juices. i am not too worried right now with loosing my baby weight. i am too focused on the baby and not myself. i love breastfeeding her and i need those extra calories in my diet to ensure that she gets all she needs. i am enjoying eatting all the good veggies and frut. i never really have been so adiment about it as i have now that i have her.
i go to this store here in Baltimore called EVERYONE'S PLACE to find books and tea. its a wonderful place.

How do you feel about your journey in life thus far and do you think that you would change anything in the past if you could?

Yes there are things that i wuld go back and do differently simply because now i have grown and matured and it would help me to get through it better. these past couple of years have been trialsome. but everything i have gone through has pretty much because of ME and making bad decisions. But i have recently made the consciece effort to live more holistically. this is where i see myself walking now with my daughter. to mesh my spiritual self with my physical self. through my diet, personality changes, mind set changes, reading material, going back to school. ect.

i found some interview questions i thought would be cool to answer

1.What are some of your goals with being a mother and what do you think that you will learn about yourself through motherhood?:

mmmm...so many goals with being a mother. especially a mother of a little girl. i first goal with her is to teach her about god. to teach her about the spiritual inheritance that she has. another goal that i have is to show her the world. well at least a few corners of it (Europe, Fiji, Asia, Africa, Hawaii) lol. I have so many goals i could rewrite them all. Just teaching her entegrity, how to demand respect and show it, perseverence, honesty. my goal is to become a great teacher. i think that she will teach me many things. she already has. such as patience, happiness, HOW to teach. how to sacrifice and not care. i could cry thinking of all the things she has taught me and the things i am ready to learn from her and motherhood.

Favorite affirmation or inspirational quote?

a freind and i had a conversation on religion. i was questioning many things about god and religion. and she said "i would rather be right and serving a god that isnt there, then wrong and NOT serving a god that is." That hit me pretty powerfully.along with the pretty common ones of Do unto others as u would have them do unto u.

If you could go back in the past and ask someone a question, who would it be and what would you ask?

i would ask Jesus what i need to do PERSONALLY in order to be the best servent of his father. in other words what/ who i need to elliminate from my life in order to please him and Jehovah. what/ who i need to include in order to do the same. like that u know?

What inspired you within your life to wear your hair natural, and would you say your lifestyle reflects a more natural way of living?

Well my inspiration STARTED while i was in high school. there two beautiful girl who were the best of friends and they were natural. one had locs and the other free afro type. it was so pretty. they were so pretty. also my senior year of high school my english teacher Mrs. Carry Blackman had lovely long locs. just a beautiful natural. this is when i first noticed my attraction to natural hair. but at that time i was afraid to do it. actually to be honest at that time i never even thought of it as something to do for ME. it was just a different hing. THen when i was about 19 i went throught the worst year of my life. everything that i knew and was (meaning the person that i had become) had completely turned itself on me. i needed a change and to feel pretty again. i needed to return to my basics. and thats what i did. i cut off all my hair and started fresh.and as the years went on i began to read an collect information and books on natural hair care. and in this i read about vegetarianism, organic/natural health care, and chemical free products (shea butter and black soap). i fell in love with it and wanted to incorporate it in all aspects of my life including my job

5 things every women should know about life

What Things Do You Think Every Woman Should Know About Life? Leave Your Inspiration by Commenting & Leaving your Life Tips!

You Cannot Do It All In One Day: There is such a thing as “over goaling”, and when we think that we can get 20 things on our list done in one day, then we are seriously fooling ourselves. When you are trying to plan out your tasks for the day, you must be honest and realistic in order for you to get that feeling of accomplishment. There is nothing worse than having tons of things on your list and only getting 2 of them done. Subconsciously this will make you feel as if you got nothing done. Instead of making one large list, break it down into a couple or a few for that matter. You will find that you feel a lot less overwhelmed.

Take Your Time: Enjoy The Process: It's Worth It: Rushing through life will cause lots of stress and you are sure to miss some beautiful things along the ride, and you are bound to come to more road blocks. So, just take your time with your life. It may have only taken nine months to be created, but it is going to take a heck of a lot longer to perfect, shape, and mold ourselves. When we are born, we are at that stage of an unfinished clay pot, you know, when it is at the stage of being shaped, molded, carved, and glazed, then it has to sit and dry for what seems to be forever, and it is not until it is put into extreme temperatures for a long time does it fully transform into a beautiful piece of art (this is the stage that I call life issues...LOL). It is not until it goes through high temperatures do you see what the glaze that you put on it while shaping it really looks like; so if you rushed and did not mold the clay properly before hand or if you tried to shorten the drying time, your pot will surely fall apart. This same thing goes for our lives...so, take your time...and enjoy the process!

You also have to learn and accept the heated process called life. We rush through things way too much and then we are left with the broken pieces laying in front us. Just enjoy the process of your life, and know that most of the time when your life gets “Hot” that it is only transforming you into a beautiful piece of art...a vessel that will be able to absorb or repel the waters of life, just like that of a clay pot. And just like a clay pot in the making, there is also a cooling process. I relate this to the fact that many times our lives can get really hot, you know, and we have to just provide stillness sometimes. You don't want to touch it, or move, it, just be still, listen to the clarity of the calmness, and watch and wait. Let things cool down before taking on the heat, or else you will get burned, and take the risk of the “pot” breaking! (but remember, there is beauty in starting over should this happen)

Me Time Is Essential: This has been discussed a lot here on ymib, so we probably all know this by now, however, it is important to define what me time is. It is not always a scene of relaxation and serenity, but could be anything that makes you feel better. Also, you do not have to have a full day or blocks of hours to fulfill your me time. You can take little breaks and do something that you like during the day. When I am supposed to be blogging or writing an article, or any other work related task, or teaching the little one, I often take 30 minute breaks and just look at decorating ideas, or sketch, then I go back to what I was doing. This also works well for all of those who are working on an outside project outside of your day job. Carry your journals and sketch books to work ladies! You can find me time just about anywhere...even in cleaning(a great self reflection time, and you get the reward of feeling good in your fresh abode:)

Just Have Fun: Lighten Up...Ladies, Don't Take This All So Serious! How many times have you totally stressed out about life and then when you look back on how you reacted, you were like “Man, I Totally Overreacted”. There will always be things within our life that tries and does throw us off our path, but you do not have to stress out about it. Stress & depression is one of the leading causes of death in women, especially Nubian women. So, Just have fun, because if you look real deep, you will see that the stressful times are where you learned the most, so smile at those moments, because you know the results will be eye opening in the end. I also highly recommend a childs spirit & laughter as a daily dose into your life. A child can find beauty, creativity, and fun in a toilet tissue roll, so why can't we find the same joy in the mundane. It is important for us to keep the spirit of a child...not the mentality...but the spirit. I still watch cartoons until this day! Find joy, beauty, and the possibilities in the mundane. You know it's funny, many times when we walk, we look straight forward, back, and from side to side, but how often do we look up. I have realized this on many of my walks. I discover things I never noticed before when I just "look up" to life! Do you get what I mean?

Cleanliness Is Next to Calmness: This one goes out to all the mothers especially, because it can get so hard to keep order and sanity together when you have little ones roaming to and fro getting into what seems to be everything. But, if you can manage to keep things in order, put things back, and keep everything cleaned, then you will be at least 95 percent assured that you will find yourself a lot calmer and less stressed. Instead of having one block of cleaning time, just break it up into mini cleanings through the day to avoid that tired and overwhelmed feeling! Nevertheless, whether you are a busy mom, or a single lady on the go, keeping your home, car, and workplace clean will offer you more times of clarity and sanity!

Well, that's about all for now. I hope this has inspired, I may have rambled a bit, but I hope it made sense in the end. I will try to post continuations in either articles or bites along the way

Welcome to the Sacred Women Circle

Sacred Woman Book Circle: February 1st – May 9th

I am so excited that we are all sharing this venture of becoming a “Sacred Woman” with each other. It's funny...one thing that stood out to me was that I saw many Sisters say that they have had “Sacred Woman” for quite some time, and maybe even years. I am also one of those who have had a crisp lavender book just sitting on the bookshelf for years...waiting to be explored. Then I thought, why is it that so many of us have had such a great tool for such a long time, yet we just didn't get around to reading it. Maybe it is the interaction that the book requires, I am not really sure, but every moment has its purpose and I feel that it is within this moment that I take and utilize the inspiration that Queen Afua has poured into her book. With all of that said, I welcome all of you to ymib's very first Book Circle! I hope that we can share, build, create, and inspire together through daily and weekly posts.

How To Use The Sacred Woman Book Circle: Even though there is a suggested schedule below that we can follow together, you can read at your own pace and post as much as you like in the relative Gateway/chapters. Use this forum to reflect and inspire on the current chapters & Gateways that you are currently in. I have pre-categorized separate topics that relate to each gateway 1-9 to keep it organized for future reference. So please only post to the relative gateway that we/you are reading. I will do my best to moderate any spam comments, yet if you should see one, please feel free to contact me and I will delete it as quickly as possible.

Posting Ideas: Post questions, pictures, resources that relate to each Gateway, personal experiences, & tips regarding Chapters & Gateways

Sacred Woman Book Circle Schedule & Activity Examples: below you will the weekly schedule for the book Circle. I have also included suggested activities to do, but definitely make each week your own according to what you have read!

Suggestions On How To Use “Sacred Woman” the Book: Many of us define our life differently so in my opinion, while Queen afua provides some very insightful regimens, recipes, and affirmations, I feel that it is important to make this book your own. Meaning you may not be comfortable or in agreement with everything she says or suggests doing, but it is VERY important to re-invent and use your creativity to come up with an alternative that fits your lifestyle while still getting the same results.

Book Circle Rules: There really are no serious rules, however please be sure to make any posts/replies directly to the “Sacred Woman” book circle...do not create another topic. This will keep our info and resources centrally located and easy to browse. Please only post to the relative gateway that we/you are reading.

Week One: pg. 1 – 20: Khamitic Nubian Philosophy: Write down your goals and expectations of all of the things that you would like to learn and gain from Sacred Woman and try to keep it in the back of your book or journal.

Week Two: pg. 21-42: The Sacred Womb: Set out a block of time to create your self a realistic schedule that you can at least stick to for at least one week if not long term.

Week Three: pg. 43-65: The Spirit of The Womb: This is the week of journaling and positive affirmations. Write, paint, or print positive words, affirmations, quotes, and passages and hang them up in a place that you will see them everyday. Try to do at least 3 of these and hang them up in three different rooms (ie. Bathroom, kitchen, bedroom).

Week Four: pg. 66-93: The Care of The Womb Part I: Create a food journal and try to stick to a healthy diet that fits your expectations, lifestyle and capabilities.

Week Five: pg. 94-120: The Care of The Womb Part II: Set out a period of time, at least fifteen minutes a day to sit and listen. Meditate and reflect with yourself. Use this week to dig deeper into a cleansing diet and try to purge as many unhealthy foods in your diet as possible.

Week Six: pg. 121-139: Commitment: Tap into your creativity and make yourself a personal size “Freedom Shawl”. This can be in the form of a robe, quilt, or wall-hanging. If you are not into sewing purchase a robe that you love in which you can also embellish to add character.

Week Seven: pg. 140-156: Gateway 1: Sacred Words: Recite your favorite affirmation/quote daily to physically affirm your power and positive state of mind.

Week Eight: pg. 157-180: Gateway 2: Sacred Foods: In The Kitchen! This week plan out your menu that is filled with new ingredients and products and create healthy dishes for your daily meals, including breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

Week Nine: pg. 181-212: Gateway 3: Sacred Movement: Enjoy the process of movement and give thanks for it. Exercise, Dance, and Play! Do yoga, especially if you have never tried it before...your body and spirit will love it all.

Week Ten: pg. 213-243: Gateway 4: Sacred Beauty: Pamper you body this week! Explore your beauty, clay masks, and natural beauty regimens. Create/buy at least one creative or new piece of garment to adorn your beauty with. We will also explore the art of waist-beads in preparation for the completion of “The Sacred Woman Book”!

Week Eleven: pg. 244-290: Gateways 5 & 6: Sacred Space: Spend this week beautifying and cleansing your home. Make it a peaceful, clutter-free and beautiful to the eye space to live fully in!

Week Twelve: pg. 291-317: Gateway 7: Relationships: Confront your issues and obstacles that you might have with your family and evaluate and reflect upon all of the responsibilities that you now hold, and make a list of what you like and what you do not like.

Week Thirteen: pg. 318-353: Gateway 8; Sacred Union: Evaluate your love. Spend some quiet time with your mate, do something special, and enjoy your union. If you are single, use this time to love yourself by surrounding yourself with those who you feel offer you pure love.

Week Fourteen: pg. 354-381: Gateway 9: Sacred Lotus: Completion! Project to be announced!

what i hope to learn & achieve: Sacred Women

There are many reasons of why I want to read Sacred Woman right now in my life. Here are a few of the things in which I hope to gain from this 14 week journey:

1. To gain and maintain a higher energy level as well as clarity of thought

2. To surround myself and my home with sacred words, beauty, and sacred communication and clarity through my writing and speech

3. To take the time for myself...I am having a really hard time at this one, however I can say that I feel as though the Book Circle is already helping because I set out a few moments a day to read.

4. To loose at least 15 to 20 pounds by the end of the 14th week (I've still got the baby weight from 4 years ago)

5. To learn more about herbal remedies and natural healing & incorporate them creatively in our home and diet.

6. To be more open with my feelings...I hold back a lot.

7. To do yoga often...at least 3 times a week.

8. To grow my creative spirit, and push my creative self to do so

9. To develop pure thought, wisdom, and communication with all of the Sisters that are joining us on the Sacred Woman journey.

10. To hopefully have lots of creative sparks that will ignite purposeful projects and ideas for the future!

So those are the most important things that I would like to achieve throughout the next 14 weeks...I am excited and nervous to see if I am in a different state of mind and weight by the end of it all. I figure if I speak it and share my goals with others, then I would be more likely to achieve them. Looking forward to hearing everyones commentary on what they have read or thought while reading the chapters and Gateways!

Meet You In The Circle

My new Dell

so my new computer came in the mail today! WHOOOO!! i am so excited! it's so cool. so i will deffinately be blogging more, and all of this of course is with a view to starting school on line. i will be looking forward to doing this. lol.

Thinking about...

my past and the things that i have been through. i have a new co-worker and i used to date her son.lol. i am training her and we have been talking about past events and the such. i have told her how i desire to become a JW again. and she's encouraging. but what i have been thinking about these past few day is all the drama and such i have ben thrugh in my life. i cannot reemeber a time in my life when i just WAS. when a considerable amount of time passed w/o there being drama and for the past 4 years or so i have really held on to this. i have held on to drama and its ugly effects. letting it absorb into my being and then i sit back and wonder y it is i cant get ahead in my life. y it is i feel so unhappy and unfulfilled. my only sorce of happiness has really just recently come with poots. i am ready to let go! i am so tired of carrying bagage. so tired of of soooo much being on my plate. all this heaviness. all this heavy food, that takes too much for me to eat and complete. i am ready for alighter deal in life. ready to eat my fruit and veggies. i need this lighter change for the betterment of me and my family. especially my daughter. i am going to let go of all my bitter feelings about old friends and old events. this is good for me. good for my heart and soul. no more."NOOO MORE DRAMAAA!! GO HEAD GO HEAD!!" (sang like Mary J. Blige)lol

ok this is what i have found

i decided that i would like a career in natural/or ganic heath care, as a practitioner. i know that taking on-line classes is the best thing for me to do with poots being so young, gas, and all. i found a two reall cool on line schools :
1. University of Natural Heath www.unh-edu.org/
2.Clayton College of Natural Heath www.ccnh.edu/

I would get my Bachelors of science in natural health and healing. the price is perfect. about 5,000. i will be able to pay for that when i get my income taxes this year all in one clump. i really cant wait! i am so excited!!

so for right now i am focusing on three main goals:
1. Getting married
2. Meeting Attendence and reinstatment
3.Starting and finnishing school.

wish me the best i will be praying constantly!