Im Not Doing Too Well In My Math Class: Least i look CUTE failing. lol

But imma give it all iv got not to fail. i really feel OBLIGATED to pass and do well. not only that but if i fail it will financially bind me. *sigh* cause imma have to pay that shit back for failed classes. i TOTALLY misunderstood my teachers explaination of the way this self paced class works in the beginning of the semester. but i didnt KNOW that i misundersstood so i asked no questions. im doing well in my other two classes though. *shruggs* what do u do. all i can do is pray and study real hard.
on the plus side. my hair is ON POINT!!
eeeowww bitches!!

been using:

on my curls. this line is REALLY pretty AMAZING. makes my curls pop and SHINE. without that "wet" "jurry curl" look. i HATE that. lookin like a soppy wet head. ewwwww and having globs of product and gel falling out ur head. YUCK. But the jam GEL line is great. ummm... only thing is it can be kindda expensive. but it goes a long way.
and
on my edges to slick them down. lol. this is a OLD THROW back product my daddy has used ALLLL MY LIFE. lmaooo. he swears by it and will prolly NEVER try anything eles. lol. but it is good in SMALL portions on the edges. lol. i wouldnt put it through out the hair. it kindda has a consistancy like beeswax. so a little goes a long way.

The results??:




what you think? i cant remember the last time i have been THIS satisfied with my hair. felt THIS confident and happy. lol I LOVE IT!!

Weekend Foolery: 11/26-29 THANKSGIVING AND POOTS' DEDICATION

this is a video of poots RUNNING through the family at the thanksgiving party. lol. thats all she does these days is RUN. i had to hold her the majority of the time, cause i didnt want her to fall. shes the youngest out of all her cousins. but she thinks shes a big girl. i felt sorry for her cause all she wanted to do was run with her cousins and the big kids but i wouldnt let her too much cause i didnt want her to fall and hurt herself. *sigh* i KNOW falling and running are all a part of chlidhood and growing up....but NOT YET!!!
this is poots and her best friend Ryan Kylie. They are sooo adorable together! they sit on the bottom step (usually) and smooth thier shirts out and hold hands looool.Ryand runs up to Poots and says "Hi best friend!! best friend?!?!" lmaooo Poots Meet and Greet with a lot a family she hadnt seen before. oh...and me. lol Poots her grandma and her aunt Aerica Poots and her granddad i love thier relationship. she REALLLY loves him Family hugs and love

This is a video AGAIN of poots RUNNING when she was about to be DEDICATED. a dedication is simply put, a prayer covering over a baby and his/her life. For blessing, success and protection. and a Dedication back to god. in the bible when Hannah prayed for her son Samuel, when he was born, she dedicated him back to god, hence vowing to raise him serving his heavenly father as best possible. this made me REALLY start to think about my relationship with god and where i have been lately. i mean its serious, because not only is my life effected by this but poots is too. i need to do more with her spiritually. get my feet on solid ground SOMEWHERE and DO IT.








RANDOM AT HOME PICS:
poots trynna get juice out the box with out the straw. there was NO MORE Juice in the box! but she was DETERMINED to get SOMETHING out of it . lmaooooo. heyyyyy if it makes her happy y not

Sleepy Face: awwwwwwww poots

she looks like such a big girl right here. i love her. shes so beautiful to me

im sorry but i had to do this...yall will get over it and be alright. lmaooo

but the SWITCH and THE DEBARGES are sexy. lmaooooooooooooo

The second one from the left is so HOT to me. but, i just couldnt imagin sharing my pink oil moisturizer with my man. so a fantasy he will stay. lmaooo and ya'll know that one of the DEBARGE's was in this group right??.....



which brings me to this:




chico debarge is HOT and SEXY!

and i'll even go so far as to ADMITT my recent obsession, with all things debarge. lmaoooo sorry, sorry, so sorry. but i sit up and look at their pics and listen to thier music and get real happy inside.





sans all thier EXTRA 80's tanginess..if you LOOK closely you cant say they aint cute. ehh.. maybe its just me and my old soul. DAMN MY LOVE OF ALL THINGS 70's and 80's!!!!!!!!!!

Poots Dancing to Carrie Underwood's Wack ass AMA performance lol

i think POOTS did better then ALL them performers Sunday night.lol



and because she was so woke. i didnt want to leave her home and keep devin up. so i brought her to work with me . we had sooo much fun!

With all the spiritual and psychological work I've been doing to get myself to a healthy place, I realize that expecting or demanding an apology for perceived wrongs is really a waste of time. Often times, if a person knows an apology is expected, they'll give it but it won't be sincere and they'll be sure to commit the offense again. Why? Because that person may not feel he/she did anything wrong in the first place. That person may not understand (or care about) why you are offended. He/she may think that you taking offense is silly or uncalled for. That person simply may not care. Period. Why expend energy expecting an apology? These days I'm much more inclined to process these things on my own, to recognize why I was hurt or offended and do things within my own power to avoid it happening again. This sometimes includes modifying my behavior with the offending person (e.g. not being as open or as friendly). It's always my hope that if someone sees they have hurt me that they will make an effort to make me feel better. But as always, how I feel and how I react, at the end of the day, is solely my responsibility.
Excerpt from : http://originalwombman.blogspot.com/2009/11/im-sorry-should-me-mean-something.html

i love this women's blog. she always inspires me to think and WRITE. This paragraph hit me so hard because its obvious that through my life, i have always been the bullied. lol. what is it about certain people that they "give off" that says "ok, come fuck with me". lol. but aside from that. i often too, find myself wanting an apology, or feel like its SUPPOSED to happen that people dont hurt me. more often then not i feel "ok, they KNOW this fucked up, but just in case they dont i'll let them know" then when i find the person could give two shits less, im shocked and appauled. lmaoooo. i guess thats just because of how i am. how i was raised. i wasnt raised the way MOST kids r raised. i didnt even play with most kids comming up. lol. so imagin my surprise when i left my loving home and religious enviroment to be shuved in a world where the MAJORITY of people REALLY dont give a fuck about YOUR FEELINGS. Imagin my surprise when devin tells me he DOESNT have feelings, he doesnt feel about things that MOST people would. when i tell him my feelings r hurt about something his response is "most girls wouldnt give a fuck if i said that to them, they'd just cuss me out and let it roll off thier shoulders".
But i am getting to a point where i am getting stronger, tougher skin, in a world where people dont give a fuck about your feelings i find myself adapting more and more. and foing like the above writter wrote, changing MYSELF. not exspecting empathy or an apology or understanding from people. If it comes my way...THATS GREAT. but i no longer expect it, or am surprised when i dont recieve it. i want poots to be the same way. so much i dont want her to be like me. shy, timid and suceptible 2 people's bullshit. shes better then that. ALREADY i see she's feisty. im glad. lol

You see, for me parenting is requiring a whole shift in my paradigm. I'm currently reading a book called Connection Parenting and the underlying idea is that no, you shouldn't treat children like adults but you should always treat them with respect. That is the only way you can in turn expect respect and this is the only way to truly stay connected to your children. And connection, the book posits, is what children need most in this world. That makes total sense to me. So how does using titles to address adults correspond to that understanding? If respect is a two way street, what special title am I going to use to address children? Now, I've had teachers who insisted on calling their students "Ms. So and So" especially when I was attending my all girls high school. I always liked this. I honestly did feel respected in a genuine way--as if the teacher thought me to be on his/her level, i.e. just a capable a human being. I've also taught in a school where the students called the teacher by her first name. I can't say I really liked that dynamic though--students really were haywire at times but I don't know if it was the teacher herself (who didn't command respect) or the fact that
excerpt from: http://originalwombman.blogspot.com/2009/11/little-thing-called-respect.html

Weekend Foolery : 11/21-22 Me and Poots dancin Video: excuse my boobs. lol

Poots and i JUST LOVE to dance together. its her favorite thing to do and my favorite thing to do with her. excuse all my boobs bouncein, it didnt seem so bad when i was doing it. lmaooo



shes so beautiful when she sleeps. i could kiss her face off lol




she took these pics herself. lol. dont they look like the ones i took in my last post? lmaoooo. her sexy pics. lol.





we were going to a fostercare recrutment party and this is what we wore. i was a little more dressy. but se was still casual fly in her suit.










she only wanted to kiss me cause i had on lipstick. too grown. lool

Lips.....

i think i found my signature fall/winter color. its dark and sensual. makes me wanna kiss and ......