Law of Attraction 101 pts 1& 2

Current Projects: I QUIT SMOKING!!

I just wanted to update on a few projects I'm currently working on and to say that I FINALLY QUIT SMOKING CIGARETTES!! I used crocheting and quit smoking tea to help me quit. I made a scarf. I love it. It has a special meaning to me because it was my replacement therapy. I've been officially smoke free for about 3 weeks now, almost 4. It was such a cute scarf and so much fun to make that I decided to start another one. A chunky brown one. I love creating and seeing a project come to fruition. Another project I started this year was reading my bible again. I started back in April. I haven't read the whole thing since I was a teenager so I thought it was time I reread it. It's been challenging yet very interesting and fun. I've finished the whole first page so far. Ive also coupled it with regular prayer and research for understanding. I believe that quitting smoking and doing my bible reading is going to kick start a lot of good things coming to me and the kids. I belive that cleaning out and stopping putting toxins in my body will help with the out put results with my life. Add to it bible reading and listing to god audio to give my subconscious mind something good to feed me. I'm feeling good. I finally found some fun things to do cause for a while there I was so BORED with life.

Current Products and my braids

I'm sure I want individual braids to be my signature go to style. It's really cute, it lasts and my hair is protected. Keeping these in for the next week until it's time to get my micros again. I'm actually glad I waited until the end of October to get them done so I can start a fresh month off with them and they can last me through to January

AUDIO BOOK: The Game Of Life and How to Play it by Florence Skovel Shinn

Double Butter Body Butter: Fall/ Winter Skin Care

I'm so excited. I  melted shea, and coco butters together, Mixed it up with some good Black castor oil and organic olive oil. I have a whole fall/ winter time skin/ hair care routine that I LOVE! I don't too much put butters in my hair cause it's a bit difficult to manipulate unless i can get it REALLY soft with the oils. But usually I just use butters for my skin care routine. I added moisturizing masks and real whitch hazel to the skin care routine. I love the results of my two differernt butters on my skin. . My skin is soft and buttery feeling because of it. I did a deep conditioning treatment in my hair this past weekend too. I've been focusing on doing things like treatments and masks on my skin and hair to moisturize it from inside out . Making sure my hair and skin are really clean and moisturized are what's important to me. Mainly with my hair, I just braid it/ twist it up and leave it alone. I enjoy individual braids and twists because they make it easier to moisturize my hair but it's still done and in a protective style.

Sermon: What Is New Thought

Hair Before My Mini Braids

AUDIO: Attaining the Presence of God by Joel Goldsmith

AUDIO: How o Create Miracle In Your Life by Start Wilde

The Inner Kingdom by Joel Goldsmith

AUDIO BOOK: INFINITE SELF 33 STEPS TO RECLAIMING YOUR INNER POWER by Stuart Wilde

VIDEO: Celebration Spiritual Center : 90 Days to Greatness

The Autobiography of Malcolm X

Took the week to listen to this. I have seen the movie many time but never read or listened to the book. It was excellent. Definitely a book black people should read or listen to at some point in their lives.

VIDEO" Secret to Living The Perfect Life" pts 1-3

VIDEO: God Is My Being by Joel Goldsmith

I've been really enjoying his metaphysical talks. He explains metaphysical topics in in ways I wish I could have known  when I was married and in my 20's. But maybe his teachings are available to me now, for a reason. They are more necessary to me now then before.

The Rebraids of Small box braids

This is my protective style until I get it done professionally in two weeks

Before Second Set of Small Braids

Two more weeks till I get another set of micro mini braids. I took my hair down to wash and deep condition it. 

Metaphysical Bible Dictionary: 1 Samuel

Samuel, sam'-u-el (Heb.)--name of God; sublimity of God; heard of God; instructed of God; God hath heard. A prophet and judge of Israel, the last one before Israel began to have kings to rule over it (I Sam. 1:20 to 10:25). Metaphysical. Spiritual discernment; that in man which has conscious contact with God and learns of God (God hath heard, instructed of God). The boy Samuel represents the inner voice, through whose expression we come into a larger realization of ourselves. Samuel also signifies judgment. He judged Israel forty years; he was brought forth in direct answer to prayer and his mother dedicated him to the Lord even before he was born in the flesh. At two years of age "the child Samuel ministered unto Jehovah before Eli," for it was recognized that he was to serve in the Temple, that he would unfold and become great in spiritual understanding. By listening to the voice of divine wisdom we bring forth the Son of God in our soul. Samuel represents both judgment and the inner voice; he is the wisdom and the judgment that come often as a still, small voice at the heart center. It is deep within the stillness of the silence that our ears first become attuned to the rhythmic motions of Spirit, and that we are first enabled to catch the sound of the inner voice. Man makes connection with Jehovah by building up a consciousness of divine ideas. This is accomplished through thought, prayer, meditation, and realization. Receptivity to Spirit and obedience, fearlessness, and candor are essentials to the inviting of communion with the inner voice. Hannah, mother of Samuel, earnestly petitioned God for a son. She made regular trips to the Temple, where she made known her desire; she listened attentively for the inner leadings, which showed her just what to do that she might comply with the law and have her prayers answered. This earnest seeking led her deep into the things of Spirit; therefore when her prayers were fulfilled the child that she bore possessed the faculty of spiritual hearing. Samuel was first conceived in Spirit, and by the sure law of Spirit the outer manifestation came into visibility. Samuel was so quickened that he heard the word of Spirit. As you sit in the silence you no doubt often get the inner word through the still, small voice, yet you do not hear it; you do not feel it --you simply know it. When Samuel first heard it he went to Eli, the high priest, and said: "Here am I; for thou calledst me." A similar experience may come often to you. You hear, yet you do not understand; but as you go on in unfoldment you finally come to the place where you say, "This is Spirit talking to me." When you have once made union with Spirit you will understand and will get the messages, just as Samuel did. I Samuel 7:2-12: The Spirit of God in man knows no defeat. Though it be kept for a time in bondage to man's material ideas, it sooner or later resumes its search for deliverance and free expression. Samuel, the inner spiritual perception that has the capacity for receiving spiritual inspiration, brings to the outer consciousness that which is necessary for this deliverance. Samuel here tells the Children of Israel of the three great steps in spiritual progress. These are as applicable to man today as they were to the Children of Israel. First, if man is to serve the one true God he will put away all false gods. With a single standard in one's life there is a centralizing force at work, and wherever this centralizing influence becomes active, organization results. Thus all the scattered forces of man's being are brought together and are made capable of undertaking effectually the tasks of life. The second step that Samuel took was to have the Children of Israel assemble at Mizpah (watchtower). In order to maintain his unity with God and to keep his forces organized in singleness of thought and purpose, man must keep his attention steadily fixed in the direction of that to which he aspires. Samuel is here only carrying out that Scriptural injunction, "Look unto me, and be ye saved, all the ends of the earth." By looking away from the besetting forces of materiality and maintaining the high watch, one is enabled to discern the action of God, in meeting the various situations of life. The third step for man in his spiritual progress is to conform his action to the action of God; when he has done that, the opposition of material forces becomes as nothing. The matter of importance is always to maintain one's perfect relationship with the movement of Principle, regardless of what may arise. Victory is inevitable when this unity with God is maintained; no adverse condition in the life of man can prevail against him, because there never has been and never can be any effective opposition to God. Victory is truly won the moment one establishes one's unity with God, because the adversity that appears is not in God, and when the situation is seen in God its aspects are entirely changed. When adversity appears the sure cure is to "cease not to cry unto Jehovah our God." When man has succeeded in any overcoming after this manner of procedure, he reaches Beth-car (house of the lamb), that place where he consciously abides in the overcoming power of Spirit. This is a genuine milestone in the spiritual progress of man, and he has conquered all the ground that his consciousness grasps of that which is real in man and in the universe. I Samuel 7:16, 17: In the high places in consciousness (represented by Beth-el, Gilgal, Mizpah, and Ramah, the places where Samuel went from year to year to judge Israel), spiritual judgment in us discerns the Truth and adjusts our life. I Samuel 8: Samuel symbolizes that in man which keeps him in touch with the Source of wisdom. He stands for man's own higher judgment, and is active in consciousness so long as man depends on that judgment and trusts Spirit to direct him and to fight his battles. The Children of Israel were not willing to be guided by their own higher judgment (Samuel, the wise judge) because they lacked understanding and were mentally and spiritually lazy. When man meekly goes with the crowd, uniting with some popular religious movement and trusting the authority of man-made creeds and doctrines for his salvation, he retires the wise judge Samuel. The king of man's consciousness is the will. When the will is given supreme control and the judgment ignored, the mind and the body are under autocratic rule.

Growth Before 2nd set of Micro Braids

THIS WEEKEND

VIDEO: The Mythical Existence of Black Racists

The Workouts I'm doing right now

I'm still unable to do them without stopping or even comeplete the whole workout. My goal is to complete the whole workout and to do it without stopping like they do. I use these no equipment workouts when I'm home and in the office but I still go to the gym when I get off work in the morning so that I can use the equipment and weights. My goal was to gain about 13-15 pounds.....i gained damn near 30 extra. lmaoo. I'm at 137 now. I'd like to be 120- 125. It's JUST 17 pounds to loose. I'll do it now in the fall and winter. I want to do it now before it gets out of control. Plus I'm still taking my medicine which helps me put pn weight. I want to couple that with a boss ass workout regimen.

We will Grow in Self-Love, Esteem, Respect and Worth - Centre for Inspired Living by David Allen Jones

How To Heal by Joel Goldsmith

Part 1


Part 2

NEW THOUGHT SERMON: You ave Great Power

Just Writting

I'm feeling a little more motivated than usual. I started the week  off well with a god exercise on Monday, cleaning, and washing and braiding my hair for the next two weeks, My goal is to keep it braided/ twisted for a month or so until I can get my hair braided by the professionals again. This time I will be keeping them in for 3 mos instead of two.
I worked out by my knees hurt so bad, I have to learn some knee strengthening exercises. I only want to loose about 10 pounds or so. I gained the weight on purpose but I didn't mean to gain THIS much.  MY issue with the way my body fat is set up is that when I gain weight is my weight never goes to the sexy places . It never goes to my butt and hips, it only goes to my gut. STRAIGHT STOMACH POUCH. and I hate that. I love the way I look over all from the weight gain (my thighs, face, breast etc) But by me having two kids my stomach is still loose. It's like I'm just not meant to have a ass. Because no matter what the weight wont go there. I didnt want 20 extra pounds just about 10 or 12. loool. Women are never satisfied with themselves. But really I just want to be healthy and in good shape. I want the HABIT and routine of working out. I want it to be something i do like 2nd nature. What I do believe is that a combination of weight gain AND a REGULAR workout/ ab routine will do my body good. My thing is workout consistency and my knee pain.
I promise myself to quit smoking. On my own. Without needing a partner, or supplements etc. It's something I want for myself bad enough. Jennifer Lopez said " You will ONLY make good decisions for yourself, when you love yourself." I want to love myself more and smoking doesnt show that i love myself AT ALL. She also said to set small goals for yourself and I have notice that when I set a small goal and accomplish it, it makes it easier to continue with it.
My baby girl go her first phone and I got one so she and I can talk and text on it all day. She is the only reason I finally broke down and got one. Cause I was having a grand time NOT paying that for that shit. So, i smoked 1/2 a cig my small goal for today is to go the rest of my work day without another cigarette break. I want to feel better physically and mentally about myself. Instead of going for smoke breaks today, imma go to the gift shop and get some snacks, and then when I am supposed to go on break imma go to the gym. Plus I downloaded twitter to help with my random thoughts. Imma take my vitamins and and drink my tea and just watch stuff and relax. o need to smoke. No need for my chest to feel tight and heavy. Sometimes I have shortness of breathe. All I want is to be smoke free. When I make it 3 days I can do the rest. But first things first day 1. I'll be tweeting my progress, thoughts and how I feel.

New Thought Sermon: Command The Good

New Thought Sermon: Getting To Know You

AUDIO BOOK: Lessons In Truth by Emilie Cady parts 4-6

Part 4


PART 5:


PART 6:

AUDIO BOOK: Lessons In Truth by Emilie Cady Parts 1-3

PART1


PART 2


PART 3

BOREDOM!

I have been so incredibly BORED lately. The things that used to hold my interest pretty much no longer do and I haven't really been able to find more different hobbies I want to do. Anyway, this entry is just going to be a writing entry. There are hobbies that I am still doing like, reading my bible and reading my books. I still listen to my audio books and YouTube videos. But i wish that maybe a had a different subject or genre of interest. I still want to exercise DAILY, but find every excuse not to. looool. and it ends up being more like 1-2 times a weeks. What i AM SUPER excited about however, is my skin has cleared up SO MUCH. I mean, almost COMPLETELY clear of acne discolorations and bumps. That makes me SO HAPPY!! All I've been doing is taking my vitamins and using that bio oil, and after a few months of that consistently MY SKIN IS clearER than it's ever been before and I am so happy. That is actually very motivational, because when I can SEE the benefits of one thing it makes me want to do MORE good things for myself so I can see the benefits and differences it makes. But what's annoying is when i think back over the years of all the time, money and tears I cried on  acne medicines I bought that didn't work and JUST HAVING THE ACNE, when all this time ALL I HAD TO DO WAS TAKE MY VITAMINS! That is VERY frustrating. But now I know, so I'm happier.
   Like for an example exercise. I LOVE doing it....when i do it. But doing it on a regular basis is hard for me. But I'm going to START! Doing SOMETHING on a daily basis. SOME sort of daily exercise  Because I was too skinny before, so i gained weight. i purposely took anti depressants that I knew would make me gain weight. What I wanted to do was take my pills and work out at the SAME time, so I could have that bangin BODY I've always wanted. Well, I didn't fucking do that. I didn't exercise daily like I was supposed to and I started working at Popeyes and gained 15 pounds and now it's 20. A little over what I wanted. My belly pokes out more when I have more weight on myself and I don't like that. So I HAVE to HAVE to start a regular exercise regimen. Rather I do it when I get off in the morning at the gym or rather I do something in the office from youtube. But either way I have to loose 10 pounds and make it a HABIT to exercise daily. Especially since the winter time is getting ready to start and taking my meds and exercising always helps me to combat the winter time blues.
  Another good habit I want to incorporate into my daily regimen is drinking more water and less coffee. I have been drinking A LOT less coffee but not enough water in turn. his wekend I plan on exercising or doing yoga with my son.  I'm going to do that with himm every Saturday starting this weekend. It can be our thing together. And I'm going to teach poots how to crochet
I'm also still writing this blog and working towards my 2,000 posts by 2020

What limiting beliefs do you have that’s keeping you from reaching your dream life?

I know I have quite a few imiting beliefs that are holding me back from growing and from moving on. The biggest is I'm afrais of fauilure. I know I'm NOT a failure, but the potential to maybe fail at things is what keeps me stuck. Stuck in the same job, stuck not going back to school, just stuck in general. I don't want to start school and get to math and it's hard and I fail. I don't want to fail at life. My marriage already failed, so I don't wnt to take too many more L's. Right now I'm just comfortable nd really focused on making money. What i love to do is have a 2nd job in the morning. I want to make mor money. I know I wont fail at that becuse I'm marketable. So i enjoy  setting personal oals for myself that I know I can achieve, but it still never feels good enouh. I'm still doing much of the same and i don't like that. HOwever, I do feel confiddent about a 2nd job

Hair Update

i clipped my ends last weekend and it's so pretty and fresh looking. I love clipping my ends. The last time I did it was 8 mos ago in October. I probably wont clip it again until next year after I've done the protective styling for the Fall and Winter months. So maybe March.  I've been doing better with more consistent small things like regular washes and deep conditioning, and clipping my ends. But i really think the main thing tht helped my hair to row was the braids I kept in for two months from May to July. I just left it alone. So while I'm LOVING the shit out of my wash n go's this summer , I can't wait for the growth of my  braids again. When i do them I'm not going to keep them for 2 mos, I'm just going to do the big box braids and keep them in a month at a time. Anyway, for now however I'm enjoying my hair being out. I love going to Walmart and buying their cheaper moisturizers and shampoo. I found a really nice Rose shampoo at Walmart in the discount bin for .50. It smells like a dream and cleansed my hair wonderfully. I can't think of the name of it right now I'll update when I get home. ANOTHER thing I've been enjoying with my hair is this curly/ denman brush. Eco styler gel is the main ingredient to my daily hair regimen (well, almost daily) but the denman brush is the  star of the show. I'm so mad it took me this long to find out about and buy one. More pics coming soon

50 Ways To Spend Time Alone

1. Go out for a walk
2. Paint your nails
3. Try cooking a new dish
4. Read a book/ Go to a bookstore
5. Take a long bath
6. Write in your journal
7. Catch up on your favorite shows
8. Watch an inspiring TED talk
9. Meditate
10. Organize your room/closet
11. Get a massage
12. Experiment with your makeup
13. Try a new workout class
14. Explore your neighborhood
15. Unplug
16. Watch a funny Youtube video
17. Apply a face mask
18. Listen to an album you haven’t heard yet
19. Go to a comedy show
20. Visit a museum
21. Write a handwritten letter to someone you care about
22. Make your own face scrub
23. Head to a cafe for coffee/tea
24. Research something you’ve been meaning to learn more about
25. Clean your home
26. Create a playlist
27. Declutter your inbox
28. Fix your resume
29. Write a letter to your future/younger self
30. Set intentions
31. Work on manifesting all you desire
32. Listen to a podcast
33. Go to the movies
34. Create a budget
35. Drink water
36. Take a nap
37. Meal plan/ prep
38. Find a new affirmation for your week
39. Browse your favorite website
40. Draw or color in a coloring book
41. Watch a documentary
42. Write a creative story
43. Make popsicles
44. Do laundry
45. Make a vision board
46. FaceTime someone
47. Try a new hairstyle
48. Pin away on Pinterest
49. Redecorate a room in your house
50. Sign-up for volunteer work  

. What does your dream life look like? Describe it in detail.

Some of these questions are going to take me to a deep place that I may not want to put on the internet. However, I said I was going to do it so here goes.

My dream life would have my family reunited. Not with Devin but closer to my kids. Since the separation I feel so distant from my children, and even though time heals all wounds and we're getting used to it , the sting of being apart from them all week still hurts. Especially on Sundays when they have to go back home. The children would be HAPPIER than they are now. Seems like since we separated they've changed. Devin is much more spoiled acting and Poots is just quieter. To herself more. Of coarse, that could just be here growing up.   My life would be rich, filled with many of memories for the kids. We would go out every weekend to restaurants and to do stuff. I would be a smoke free, vegetarian. I would be a dancer and a yoga teacher/ practitioner.  I would be easier on myself, but a lot more disciplined. All of us would be more disciplined. My home would be two bedroom, spotlessly cleaned and full of games to play and stuff to do. I would have never been Disfellowshipped from the JWs. I would go to school and get a degree. I get nervous about going back to school because I don't want to fail or suffer any set backs because I know that would throw me off my path. I would love my degree so that I don't have to work two jobs
    As I type this I realize most of the things I've written in this posts are achievable if I practice a little more self discipline and consistency.  My biggest thing is that I want to stop smoking. Be disciplined enough to do that and I would be much happier.

Writing Prompts for 286 Blog Posts

I found some really nice writing questions that I'm going to answer one at a time. It gives me some ideas as to what to write about.

50 Journal Prompts for Self Discovery

1. What does your dream life look like? Describe it in detail.

2. What does your ideal day look like?

3. Where do you see yourself in 6 months? A year? 5 years? 10 years?

4. What do you know to be true today that I didn’t know a year ago?

5. In this moment, what are four things you’re grateful for?

6. What limiting beliefs do you have that’s keeping you from reaching your dream life?

7. What distractions are hindering your productivity? How can you reduce them?

8. What actions can you take today to simplify your life?

9. When do I feel most in tune with myself?

10. If you could talk to anyone dead or alive, it would be….. because ….

11. Write down your top 10 goals to complete by the end of the year.

12. Who do you look up to the most? Why?

13. If someone else described you, what do you think they’d say? Why?

14. What does happiness mean to you?

15. How have you changed in the last 5 years? What’s the biggest lesson you learned?

16. If today was your last day, what would you do?

17. If you could give advice to your younger self, what would you say?

18. How do you spend your Sundays? And how can you improve your Sunday routine for a more productive week ahead?

19. What do you need more of in your life?

20. If you could have any three things in the world, what would they be?

21. Describe in great detail what 5 years from now looks like. Where do you live? What’s your job?

22. What are 10 things you love about yourself? Why?

23. What are you most grateful for in your life? List at least 10 things.

24. What activities sets your soul on fire? (If you aren’t sure, then think back to your childhood. What did you love to do as a kid?)

25. How can you feel more fulfilled in your life?

26. If you couldn’t fail, what would you do?

27. What do I need more of in my life? Less of?

28. What are my best qualities?

29. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be and why?

30. What’s your dream job?

31. Who do you look up to the most? Why?

32. Write down the type of person you wish you could be. Create an avatar. What’s their personality? Where do they work and live? How do they react to difficult situations? Think about ways you can bridge the gap between who you are now and the avatar you created.

33. If you could describe yourself in one word, what would it be and why?

34. Write down 5 positive affirmations about yourself. Repeat them daily.

35. What’s your favorite memory?

36. How did your darkest moments shape you into who you are today?

37. If you could live in any other time period what would it be? And what would you be doing?

38. When do you feel the most at peace?

39. Set a 2 minute timer and write down whatever comes to your mind.

40. What can you do today to move you closer to your goals?

41. What type of person do you want to be known as?

42. What do you value most in life?

43. What’s one toxic thing (or person) in your life you need to let go of?

44. What fears hold you back from living your best life?

45. Draw a picture in your journal of something that makes you happy.

46. What’s something you’ve always wanted to do, but was too scared?

47. How can you take better care of yourself?

48. What self-care practices will you try today?

49. At the end of life, what would you want to be remembered by?

50. What makes you feel alive? And when was the last time you felt that way?

Blog Post Goals 286 by JANUARY!

I'm still in love with this blog. I hae been using to track my life meanderings since I found out I was pregnant 11 years ago. So much has gone on and happened and it's all right here. I keep my MOST intimate and private thoughts in a journal I write in every night. Writing is super theraputic for me. It's always been. So, I'd like to challenge myself to get to 2,000 blog posts by the end of the year. I'm already at 1,714 so it's only like 285 more posts over the next 4 mos. That's not bad. I'm hopping to inprove my writing skills and topics. I want to write about a few different topics. I'm going to be listening to good youtube videos/ audio books and sermons posting them and thoughts on them. I always do that, but I'mm  going to add articles and commentary on them (videos and articles). Also  plan on sharing my blog around the web more. I've been a 10+ year blogger and still hardly have any traffic to my blog. I'm one of the OG vets to this shit. lol. I'll be posting blogs from home more often too, so that should help with getting them up. Send me more topics I should write about

OMG!! SO Much Growth

I'm so excited to compair my growth. It's growing so well. I clipped the ends in October and I plan to do it again this coming October. Until then i am just going to keep it out and free of braids. Those micro mini briads really did a number on my edges. So I'm just wearing it out for the rest of the summer and all of the Fall. I wont start protective styling again until October/ November. But I do need to find a better curling gel because the one by Shea Moisture leave these white "boogie" like flakes in my hair that I HATE. But i bought the damn sufflea for 16.00. I promise on everything from now ON that is the LAST time I will buy a jar of The Curling sufflea by Shea Moisture. I like the way it clumps my curls but it just leaves too much white product in my hair and i can't stand that. I also bought the Curl Smoothie, still made white nasty flakes in my hair. i think this line just does'nt like my hair. 

Sermon: 10 Things Every Single Person Should Do by T.D Jakes

New Thought Sermon: So We've Prayed, Now What?

New Thought Sermon: True Prayer

New Thought Sermon: Let Your Weakness Magnify The Presence

New Thought Sermon: Transcending Your Tendencies

Video: The Hermetic Teachings of Tehuti

I'm Finally Over It

I'm happy that being disfellowshipped doesnt bother me anymore. I don't worry about it. So much time has gone by and I have moved on with my life. It wasnt a easy move, but I did it. I honestly believe that at this point I can sit at the Kingdom hall for it's intended purposes and enjoy the service. Not feeling any anger, or sadness, without crying or feeling  nostalgic. It's been a slow healing process. It was A LOT to deal with. However I am still praying over and having faith that my mother and I will be close again WITHOUT my having to be one of Jehovah's Witness'. 
   At this point what I really want to focus on is quitting smoking, loving myself, working, and doing fun things with my children. My energy has to be refocused and directed towards rebuilding my life positively. After being disfellowshipped things got crazy fast and didn't go as I would have liked.  It's ok now though because the load is lifted. I'm working two jobs now during the week and getting my babies and having fun on the weekends. My bills are finally paid down and I have more room to move around financially. 
    The Kingdom Hall and Jehovah's Witness' will always have a special place in my heart. I am so grateful to it for how I was raised. It laid my foundation and gave me a belief system. SOMETHING to believe in is a big deal to me. So I will always look at it with a loving heart, but I DO take issue with the whole disfellowshipping system. That whole section hangs a dark cloud over the JW's for me. And because of that I can't belong to it, nor do I want my children in it. I have no desire to strive to be reinstated like I used to. I only want to study what makes sense to ME spiritually. 'm an adult now and so i know what's best for my spirit.

Just Writing

Things have been going really well for me lately. I have a lot to update so this should be a ong post. First and foremost I am most excited about having another part time job. I have wanted that for years now. And it FINALLY happened. I have been working there for a little over a month now. I like it. THere is only one manager I don't care for too much but fuck her. I just work as fast as I can when I work with her. Other than that i REALLY love working at Popeyes. The hours are great. In the evenings like 4-9 on Tuesday- Thursday. I do it for my babies. So that we can have extra money to shop and do fun stuff and get out of the house more on the weekends this summer. That's what I' really got the job for THEM! On the weekends.
This weekend i want to take them to a couple of stores on the bus and let them pick out something they like and want and then have dinner at IHOP. We'll go to the herbal store, so i can get some quit smoking tea. I REALLY am going to go this weekend and QUIT smoking. My doctor wants me to. I see a new doctor and have been talking to and visiting her pretty regularly. I enjoy it. Sometime you have to put your health FIRST. That's what i really want to do. Quit smoking so that my life can align with my vision on health, happiness, fun and prosperity. I've been working overtime at Good Sam too. It's ben a lot these past few weeks but it's been enjoyable and I reap the benefits of being able to shop and have a few extra dollars to spend.
I started a bible reading schedule about a month ago and hae been sticking to it MOSTLY regularly. The only days I missed was the few days I worked overtime and was too sleepy to read and the few days when I was doing my hair. It's been really fun chunking throught the bible. It's been so long since I read it through i'm enjoying recalling some of the biblical stories i grew up listening to and reading in the kingdom hall. I'm reading it to come to a understanding of it for MYSELF. With no other outside influence.  Speaking of which I am going to the assembly with my dad at the end of April. I really want to see what crownsville looks like now and to sit and listen to the program with my dad will  be fun.  It's always been fun going to the assembly with my dad so I'm looking forward to that. 
Things are looking up for me and i say IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME! The biggest icing on the cake is when I put cigarettes away for good and just rely on my tea and e-cig to give me something to do with my hands etc. Looking forward to all the summer festivals the kids and I are going to go to this year. It's going to be FUN!

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New Thought Sermon: Go and Sin No More

New Thought Sermon: No Other Gods Before Me

New Thought Sermon: Finding God

April Fluffy Twist Protective Syle and Growth