Saturday, October 31, 2009

StaceyAnn Chin: Poem about Equality

StaceyAnn Chin: My first period

this poem had me jumping in my seat! woooooooo! *fist in the air*

Its Not So Much ThatI Lost HER

as a friend that hurts so bad. Cause in reality people come and go in and out of our lives all the time. i could take or leave her. What hurts so bad is that this SAME shit KEEPS happening to me. and it hurts. and its like "what did i do?" and all that they says is "i dont wanna tell u how u are cause i dont wanna hurt ur feelings." andi lie to u not similar shit happns to me with women all the time. i WANT to be a women's rights advocate and empower women. buti feel like wtf for?? all hey do is fuckin be moody, and flighty, and ctty. and that shit is for the birds. a part of me feels like you can do those things for womens rights and ect butstill just not be friends and dont deal with them on a personal level.
i hurt because i begin to doubt who i am. i think like "damn am i THAT terrible of a person that noone wants to be around me and they keep huring me?"
But at the same time i STAY cunting my blessings. because my Ashley and Devin has stood by me through thick and thin. Yes he may annoy the hell outta me, and i him. but when i wake up he's there, and when i fall alseep he's there. i may not have A LOT of frinds, ut the few that i have really love me and have been down for me for some YEARS.
maybe certain people are jealous. jealous of the fact that im in a rlkatinship with my child's father and yes while we may not have the perfect relationsip i HAVE THE OPTION of fussing with someone and still being able to make up and be in my relationship.
on a ending note: iwanted to know if it was ok to speak to that person (the girl who no longer wants to be my fiend) i mean i thouht it was pretty imature n lame to noeven say HI when we were arond each other. lmaooooo she said no. so i was like "damn shes a BITCH" and devin as like " you cant call her a bitch, cause u have to remember that the reasony she doesnt want to be ur friend anymore s because of YOU not HER" i was like damn. but what did i do?? idk, idk how to put it. im angry. all that matters now is that shes out of my life wit her moody ss. i aint gotta worry with tha shit no more so "BLAH!! to that!

Thursday, October 29, 2009

STRONG WOMEN: Elizabeth Smart Speaks Out


imma write how i feel. and im sorry if i hurt anyone's feelings. maybe its best if certain peope no longer read my blog since we are no longer friends. but i am hurt and imma write how i feel. Tonight a friend and i pretty much ended our friendship. i mean, i tried REAL hard to talk to her, to explain myself, to not loose her as a friend. but pretty much she didnt care. she wouldnt talk to me and the shit was just maddd uncomfortable. she said that for a while she was feeling like she didnt want to be my friend anymore. she didnt feel as though we were "compatible". but her attitude n shit was as if she was punishing REALLY LITERALLY felt like "im done with you . i have NOTHINg to say to you." and it just hurt so bad. i have a really hard time aquiring friends, and when i do, ill always be a friend. no matter what for the most part. if we irritate each other, ok, get over that shit and keep it movin. thats how i am. but almost my whole life, "friends" have decided when they were done with me! and its so unfair. and the thing is, i would have given anything for this friend. we talked EVERY night. but she said it was just ME. just how i am and she doesnt want to hur t my feelings as to y we cant be friends anymore. i have heard that my whole life too. "oh its just YOU. i just dont wanna be ur friend." the shit really fucks with ur confidence, and makes u feel like "what damn what the hel lis wrong with me." and make me wanna crawl up in a ball and not Fuck with nobody. but u see, there is this little thing called loneliness and ill be damned if it dont catch up with me. sometimes i want a friend to just LISTEN to how i feel. not TAKE on my problems, get pissed off cause i dont do what they said to do, or because i choose to stay in my relationship. just LISTEN. i deal with so much in my day. NOBODY KNOWS the things i feel at times. and i cant always talk to devin half the time its ABOUT devin. but noone besides my Ashley wants to listen. but its to be exspected that even SHE can get overwhelmed at times. i dont fuckin have time or money for therapy. whatever. fuck people. and it really sucks that i have to say that. because i have alwyas thought of myself as a bit of a humaniterian. always advocating for PEOPLE, sticking up for them. giving my all for THEM. but that favor is never returned. so thisis what i will do. im not letting no more bitches close to me. ill keep my circle very small. poots, ashley, and devin. ill fload myself with school, and my daughter. and no worry with going out, or talkin to people. id rather be alone and deal with THAT hurt, then the hurt of a person saying "I'M DONE WITH YOU." AGAIN in my life. but if i see someone hurt, or in need, or beinf taken advantage of, i'll DO for them. ill fight for them, ill help them up. then im OUT. no more closeness.dealing with people and thier fuckin flighty ass , flacky ass attitudes is some not doing it no more.

My Preggy Belly

"Des Juss My BABY DADDYY!!"

me and my devin. i dont think he kows how much i REALLY ADORE him

lmaooo yall remeber that song? guess who ung it: TRINA! HAHA!!

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

I Feel

myself changing. i have so much on my mind that i want to say and i dont even know where to begin. i have had so much passion lately explode inside my heart and i dont know where to go with it. who to talk to. Lately my feeling towards men, have really changed. my anger with the way that things are in this world concerning men has slwoly taken over my mind and my thinking. I feel like men have the liberty to do too much, and get away with thinking that its ok. i may be single before the end of this blog. because i really feel myself on a NO BULLSHIT crusade. i feel that either i will leave devin or he will leave me before this is all done. because there are things that he feels is ok to do or say to me that MOST MEN especially in his age range feel is OK to do or say now a days. and inside i CANT CANT CANT take anymore. and shit is GOING to hit the fan , when i start to do the shit he does. and im ok with the shit hittin the fan. The unequality in the game these days is almost unmentionable. its sickening. i cant even finnish this blog right now, because my mind is racing, and i dont want to send the WRONG i think ill stop and revisit this topc later.

Monday, October 26, 2009

ME talking about my twists: really shitty video, my 1st one ever

Poots Dancing to GOD IN ME

Poots and her New Favorite Bunny

I Love Picking With Her While She's Sleep


lmaoooo dont that look like what she sayin?? lmaooooo

Poots and her Pretty Dress

when my dad bought her back home in this...i gasped...she looked soooo BEAUTIFUL

Poots and her Pretty Dress

when my dad bought her back home in this...i gasped...she looked soooo BEAUTIFUL


6 mos old poots pics!!

These are a few of my favorites. her round face. these pics almost bring tears to my eyes. im always cryin...get on my own nerves. lol

friend and i Started a Challenge

its a healthy eatting/ life style challenge. for the fall and winter months. and of coarse to continue on after that.but mainly to stay on the fall and winter months
she has a Jack Lalanne power juicer. so we are gonna juice veggies n stuff.

so this is what we CANT do:
1. no canned foods
2. no sugar or caffien
3. no pork or beef

we WILL:
1. 64 oz of water
2. 1 solid meal a day. the others juice.
3. vitamins
4. exercise (at least 1 mile a day)
5. 5-10 mins of prayer a day and bible reading

so im excited. to be starting. lol