Wednesday, December 22, 2010

BOOK: First Darling of the Morning: Selected Memories of an Indian Childhood by Thirty Umrigar

This book is a retellingof th life of the author. in a very candid, whimsical, almost humorous manner, Thirty writes about the pains and joys of a childhood in Mumbai India. I really enjoy her writing just ONE story, she had quickly risen up the ranks to becomming one of my favorite writters. she talks about her obsession wit writting even from early in her childhood. I love people with word obsessions.....they are like me. i am even more drawn to them because i have never met a person face to face with a word obsession, so when i READ about one i am drawn in to them personally.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010


i LOVE children!! i love evrything about thier beauty, and innocense. I havnt always been this way. I mean, i never DISliked children, but i was also never this in love with them prior to me having Poots. loool. I look at her and er little friends, and i wonder how anyone could hurt them, or abandon them. i think about war torn counties, and those ravaging times in history where children have had to wade the waters for mistakes adults have made. i want to work with children somehow. But i wonder if i am srong enough.

Friday, December 10, 2010


So as u all may or may not know i work the night i get to catch all the GREATEST late night infomercials! well the latest craze in my late night tele travels is The Fushigi Gravity ball. google it if u dont know what im talking about. so me being me...i HAD to know how it works and if people were happy with it. so im reading various reviews on various websites and i come across this one..its HILARIOUS to me!:

No - Made me cry

The so called magic ball is the biggest fail in the world i can get a $1 ball and spend the rest on something useful like a cat. Like the other people said just use a orange or something round.its very useles the only thing it does is make you hate your life!!

Monday, November 15, 2010

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Sunday, November 14, 2010


i love documentary films. this was a good one on the color complex, and how its not just a black issue, the way i thought it was. Obviously this is an issue that effects all people of color

Shadeism from Shadeism on Vimeo.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Rihanna "Only Girl in The World"

Rihanna ft. Drake "Whats My Name"

Ciara "Gimme Dat"

Just Writting

i often wonder, what i am good at. like really, really good at. and not just in my opinion good at it. i mean i want to find a habit or a skill that i can share with other people for thier benefit. like artists have the arts, what do us regular people have. i know i love reading, and writting, but honestly i dont feel i am good at writting. i enjoy it like hell though. so i keep my deepest pieces to myself. its odd though, because those deep, dark peices are probably the ones that will make me a millionair. but im too afraid to share. everyone in my life would be so hurt by the things i wrote and said that i would be rich with noone to spend it on. lol. But i sort of cant wait for 2011. its going to be an awesome year. i am looking forward to working super hard and stacking my money up. i went on a interview a couple weeks ago for a second job that i am pretty sure i also looking farwrd to going to school...AGAIN...i KNOW. but this year imma stick with it. i have put myself on a 5 year plan. for having a degree, moving into a house, and what not

Sunday, November 7, 2010

BOOK: Oh God, Oh God, Oh God! youth adults speak out about sexuality and christian spirituality by Heather Godsey and Lara Blackwood Pickrel

i didnt really enjoy this book like i have enjoyed some of the others. It was pretty much a compilation of the different experiences young people have had as christians in the church with sex. from chasity rings, to homosexuality and infertility, its all discussed here. iv personally read better written books on the subjects.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010


BOOK: Hair Story: Untangling the Roots of Black Hair in America by Ayana D. Byrd & Lori L. Tharps

This was a good book and informative but read slow. I dont know why but it tokk me like 2 or 3 weeks to read it. I kept sitting it down and picking it up. It gave a cool history of African American hair and why sometimes it can be such a painful subject. Iv noticed that there are no two more freguently discussed, or written about physical attributes in African American culture then skin complexion and hair texture. there are soo many books, articles and intimate life stories that center around skin complexion and hair texture in the black community. i hope that one day as a race we will get to a point where we can accept ourself for what we are...what god created us to be.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

BOOK: Russell Simmons Def Poetry Jam on Broadway ...and More

OMG!!!! So FLY!! A great compilation obook of poetry by some of the dopest lyricist in the Slam World. And the fac t that its allll the way On Broadway gives added effect to the fact of poetry growing. Lately I have been sooo in love with reading, and poetry, and words...its flustering. there are time that i am so enthralled with a book that i feel i cant read fast enough. loool Its like my eye balls cant move accross the page fast enough. loool. im silly, i know. But a good book of poetry is always whats needed. The right "medicine" at the right time. I am so impressed wth people who are writters and poets, and rappers and REALLY know and love words. I only pray that i can be as great as the great poets of my day:
Some featured in te book are:
Beau Sia
Black Ice
Georgia Me
Mayda Del Valle
Staceyann Chin
Steve Colman
Suheir Hemmad

BOOK: Regaining Joy: A Guide to Ivercoming Stress and Sadness by Renee Bartkowshi

This book was so beautifully written. In the form of prayers to God. Beautiful heartfelt prayers and COVERSATIONS with God. Thats one of the things i deffinately need to work on, having more CONVERSATIONS with God. So much of my prayers consist f asking for, and praising him, thanking him, and thats all good and needed, but i REALLY want to just TALK to him. Some of that other stuff seems so formal when im speaking to God. There are days when i just want to master the art of talk to him like he were a physical person right here in front of me. This book is a good book to read out loud, because it is a book of prayers.Just like the bible book of Psalms is good to read out loud because tey help you to talk with God, to praise him. There are some days i dont know what to say to god, or i feel like i am running out of words to say to praise him. When i turn to the Book of Psalms it is always filled with heartfelt praise that draws me close to God and back where i need to be.

Friday, October 15, 2010

BOOK: God's Answers to Life Difficult Questions by Rick Warren

Enjoyable, and retainable. the main thing that i love about the way Rick Warren writes is ability to give "bulleted" guidence and instruction on Christian matters and living. he does this beautiifully and eloquently without making the reader feel as though they are in the first grade (being condenscending). I love him and he is one of the few christian authors that i feel i can trust. Good Read

BOOK: A Saint On Death Row by Thomas Cahill

AN EXCELLENT,WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL book about a black man who was placed on death row at the age of 18. but the beautiful part of his story is his grace through it all. his forgivness and willingness to help others in the system like him. the book really opens the eyes to flawed judiciary system, especially in Texas. it helped me to put a finger on EXACTLY how i feeel about capital punishment. i never thought about it. but now i know i dont agree with it, under NO cercumstances. i feel death is a luxery even for the most hideous of a christian i dont even know if i am supposed to have the OPTION of being FOR capital punishment. but i do know NOW on MY OWN ( with no religious influence)that i dont agree with it.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Healthy Lifestyle Habits

Lifestyle Habits

 Eat at least 3 balance meals, each including a vegetable or a fruit each day
 Drink 6-8 eight-ounce glasses of pure water each day
 take a multivitamin/multimineral supplement each day
 enjoy some type of physical activity (walking, gardening, yoga) for at least 30 mins each day, or on most days
 spend at least 10 mins of quite time alone (meditating, praying, deep breathing, day dreaming) each day
 do something to work towards fulfilling my dreams- read about starting a business, practice an instrument, indulge in a hobby like quilting- each day or each week
 spend at least 15 mins outdoors in sunlight each day
 take steps to minimize stress (take breaks, call a supportive friend) each day
 avoid smoking and second hand cigarette smoke
 drink no more then 1-3 alcoholic beverages per week
 avoid caffeinated coffee, tea, colas
 get approx. 7 hours of sleep per night

Friday, October 8, 2010

i wonder....

what it would be like to fuck a poet. what words would he drip in my ear? How would he say it?

BOOK: The Moments, the Minutes,the Hours : The Poetry Of Jill Scott

i LOVED this book of Poems by the great wordist Jill Scott. I want to BUY this book just so that i can read and reread and reread all the mind numbingly incredible poems.

Lately i have this OBSESSION with poetry, and rap, and spoekn word. I LOVE IT. i listen to it carefully now and try to do things with my words were i glue them together to try and make them fit and sound as slick as the poets on tv...but that shit never seems to work. so i am content just reading it, looking at it, listening to it. my lyrical, versital, spoken word porn.

Book: Midnight A Ganster Love Story by Sister Souljah

was a ok book. it was interesting and i enjoyed comming to a better understanding about Islam. i had so many rediculous views of Islam (as many Christians do who dont study islam)that are now settled through understanding. But what i did not like was the arrogence of main character Midnight about his religion and Africa in general. i hated how Souljah painted every young black American as being moralless, floosy, killing machines. she madeit seem like Africa is ABSOLUTLY PERFECT and America is ABSOLUTE hell. and niether on is true. Africa needs to make improvments just as America. so she can sit down far as putting americans down is concern.
But...with all that said i did enjoy the character and want to folow his story. i wil be reading the follow up book due to come out in 2011. if doing nothing eles...i will be reading. nohing wrong with that.

Monday, October 4, 2010

New Fall Season

Fall always brings new harvest and sense of warmth over my life. Time to coudle and create. i love to knit and crochet in the fall. make warm things for my baby for the season to come.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Book: The Big Questions by Lama Surya Das

this was a good book. it gave guidence on how to find your own answers to about 12 of life's biggest, most asked questions. from a Buddist perspective. i like the SELF GUIDED aspect of it. it doesnt come right out and give you the answer to any of the questions but rather aids in joggin your brain and thinking power in drawing your own answers. For example the question for chapter 9: How Can I Integrate Spirituality in to My Daily Life asks self evaluating questions

Monday, September 27, 2010

20 Steps To A More Natural Life

Adapted from The Druidry Handbook, by John Greer (Weiser Books 2006).

You can comfortably reshape your life using simple methods like these. They are logical, doable, inexpensive, and all together combine to help you live a life as a caretaker instead of as an exploiter of the earth. What better way to live?

1. If you have room for a garden, or can join a public garden, grow some of your own food using organic methods.

2. Buy organic, recycled and other Earth-friendly products instead of conventional ones, even when they cost more.

3. Set the heat 10 degrees cooler and the air conditioning 10 degrees warmer, replace high-wattage light bulbs with efficient ones, and make a habit of turning off anything that doesn’t actually need to be on.

4. Improve your home’s heat efficiency by adding insulation, installing insulated window coverings, weather-stripping doors, and putting gaskets behind electrical outlets.

5. Put flow restrictors on your faucets and showerhead to save water. If you can’t replace existing toilets with a low-flow version, place a half-gallon jug full of water in the toilet tank to reduce the amount used in each flush.

6. Never buy anything on impulse. If you think you want something, wait at least 24 hours and see if you still want it then.

7. Plant trees whenever and wherever you can, and tend and water them until they can survive on their own.

8. Take a hard look at the electric or gas-powered devices you own. How many could you replace with low-tech equivalents, or simply get rid of? Gather up any that can be replaced or discarded and donate them to charity.

9. Contact your local water, electricity, and heating fuel utilities to find out what conservation programs, rebates, and incentives they offer, and use of them.

10. Shop at a local farmers’ market or join a community-supported agriculture program.

11. Learn how to entertain yourself and your family and friends instead of letting an energy-wasting machine do it for you. Television and computer games are no substitute for life!

12. Instead of a grass lawn, landscape with plant species are native to your area. Local conservation groups can tell you which plants support native butterflies and birds.

13. Whenever you possible can, walk, bicycle, carpool, or take public transit instead of driving a car.

14. Replace chemical cleansers, laundry detergents, and garden compounds with natural or biodegradable equivalents.

15. Take care of as much of your everyday health care needs as you can using natural methods. Modern medicine is among the most wasteful and polluting of all industries.

16. Live as close as possible to work or school so that you minimize the time and energy wasted in commuting.

17. If you’re building a home, include as many Earth-friendly elements in its design and construction as you can.

18. Compost all your yard waste and vegetable kitchen scraps in a composter or worm bin, and return the compost to the soil.

19. Recycle everything you possibly can.

20. Donate old clothes, housewares, and appliances to charity, or find other uses for them instead of throwing them away.

Read more:

BOOK: The Coldest Winter Ever by Sister Souljah

i started reading this book when i was in high school but a little less then halfway through it i put it down because of what i felt was too much profanity and sexual content. fast forward 8 or 9 years and the wool has been pulled from my eyes. i LOVED it. it REALLY isnt much cussing and sex.
of course i took the liberty of casting who i felt would play the roles well in the movie adaptation of the book. ill post that laater. i wont do a review on the NOVEL its self, i dont want to spoil the story for anyone. but i will speak on the interview questions and the character analysist by Souljah.In this section, a section seperate from the novel, Souljah really hit the nail on the haed with the discription of the life of her characters. Putting into perspective the life of african americans and what the positive African oposite would be.

I dont know....

y i dont keep better track of the books i have been reading lately. at least jotting down my feelings on them. i have read sooo many books. i keep my eyes open for good titles. the library has been such a refuge for me lately. i feel happier, lighter. idk, maybe its the book s combined with my change in eatting habits. but i like it. Praise be to Jehovah for blessing me with a level of peace. i promise u if i didnt get any i was gonna LITERALLY have a heart attack

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Watching Roots

last week at the library i got the dvd Queen by Alex Haley. i have always read about slavery and the civil rights movements ect....but reading about it never effected me as much as actually SEEING it. it has instilled a different kind of pride in me, a kind of pride that was'nt there growing up reading about slavery. it was there as i learned about the black kings and queen in the khemet and africa and i learned that africans were the first to have a CIVILization. it wasnt even there when our first black president was elected. dont get me wrong, there WAS pride...but nothing like THIS. although slavery in america was only such a SMALLLLLLL slither of our history, its still our history in THIS COUNTRY. this is what AMERICANS know as as, primarily. SLAVES who just happen to come up and get some rights during the Movement. ok, so i watch our beginning history in THIS country andi feel ashamed for not SHOWING my pride. iv said, done, and not done things that my ancestors would greatly frown upon.
since last week i have gotten the original Roots. i will follow with Roots: The Next Generation and Roots: The Gift

Monday, September 20, 2010

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Book: Dont Play In The Sun : one women's journey through the color complex

i read this book and i have to so much to say. i love reading and writting here lately. i have probably read more books in my lifetime then most people my age have seen. this habit has has greatly increased in the past few months. leaving me, not knowing what to do with the information and knowledge i am picking up. i love being self taught. but i feel like no one is benefitting from my knowledge. i want to talk about it, i want to have deep weekly discusions with people about issues. i want to go to forums,a dn sermons. i want to give speaches in front of crowds and have open ended discussions on matters i read about. on matter EVERYONE reads about. i want to go ploaces and be a activist. and read, and share, and change people's lives. i decided i would like to change my major to somethng that feels good to me, like womens studies, or african american studies. ill probably do women's studies. i want to help people and talk to them, counsel then. i want to volunteer and help people get through life.
i want to fast and be a vegetarian. a afro- christian activist. speaking of which i watcheda documentary by Pan- Africanist John Henrick Clarke the other day. it was wonderful. its about the history of africans in america. and how africans started civilization. civilization meaning people lving together in a civil enviroment. civil meaning PEACEFUL. there is nothing peacul about riding over and conquoring and snatching up OTHER people's land and people. Our African ancestors didnt do that.
speaking of african. the book i read is about a dark skinned women's journey through accepting her dark complexion. the women we are speaking about and author of the book is Marita Golden. i have never equated a person's complexion with thier beauty. i personally have always looked at a person's facial features and bone structure and determined rather or not i appreciated thier look. i believe this is greatly because of being raised a jehovah's witness. and living in a home with a mixed race marriage. i was never taught to see color. i partly believe this is ALSO because i was born and still am what many would consider light skinned. maybe my mother thought i dodged a bullet in that dpartment and didnt feel the NEED to discuss African color and beauty with me. my mother is dark skinned and beautiful, long hair, and those big ole black women hips coupled with the booty. she is, the epitome of what i feel a African women is and what i feel african beauty is. maybe she felt she escaped a lot of her dark skinned "woes" by having a light skinned daughter (i take after my father) and a white husband.i do remember hearing her say things that were not so favorable about her complexion. physically, my mother was
i on the other hand have always been "cursed" with the complete OPPOSITE. and whehn i say COMPLETE opposite...i mean COMPLETE. i was never black enough. i wasnt blessed enough to share in my mother's inherant "blackness". EVERY gene that my mother possessed for that juiciness that is physically everything a black women is...was somehow skipped by me. my light skinn, long hair, and proper speach was never shinned favorably upon. but y? how can there be such a STARK contrast in the black community, or yuj are either too black, or not black enough?

Friday, August 13, 2010

Inspire Me Beautifully

i want these shoes TERRIBLY!! They're called Brogue Shoes. But they are EXPENSIVE so im going to search for a similar pair that look alike. just some low cut lace up's will do. i wonder where i can find a pair

i also want these Doc Marten boots

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Going on a Fast

im not a muslim as u all know, but i will be fasting this month for Ramadan. Yesturday was my first day, so far so good. But not only will i be fasting from food, i will also be fasting from the internet, television, spending money (except to buy for my houshold), telephone use, and music for this month. i figure the time would be devoting to these things i can devote to prayer and bible reading. i have wanted to live a more diciplined life and i will start now. pray for my success. Toodles BBB members (bad bald b*)

i like that my tongue ring matches my shirt

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Inspire me Beautifully

I Cant Give Up

There days when i just want to give up. i want to do anything anymore. i dont want to be a mother, wife, worshipper, worker, provider ECT...i just want to be left alone. But then i think about the consequences of not doing these things. I think of the disaster and guilt that would insue. I think about how not ONLY do I have too much to loose if i were too give it, but i have sooo much to gain when i keep going. AS A AMTTER OF FACT...not ONLY do i keep GOING...but i do MORE. i go above and beyond the call of duties. because i know what i will reap when i do. i know my marriage will prosper, my baby will grow up strong and smart...shit ..ill have aplace to live. lol. so i give myself pep talks to get through each day...each hour. i tell myself to pray and read, and work out because one day it will all click and i will hear God's voice sooo clearly i wont want to do anything eles.
Tomorrow starts Ramadan. i know i am a christian and it is a muslim practice...but who cares. Christians fast too. Its a command for christians to fast. as a matter of a fact my church fasts every Wednesday. but i will be doingit for 30 days starting August 11. i cant wait to do this. i have to refrain from food,liguid, and sex. from sun up to sun dowm. and usually thats from like 6a-9p. i can do that. i plan on eatting A BIG deal of food around 5:30. and snacking for the time prior to that while im at work and drinking lots of water.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Poots at The Park

Bored With The Internet Lately

i have been just reading, and tweeting sparingly. i write a lot in my physical notebook. this weekend was a good one. poots and i went to the park. she and i hardly spend any time together anymore. it really hurts. i miss her so much. but i dont know what to do. i HAVE to sleep. and by the time i sleep during the day and go pick her up round 5 i barely see her cause she's sleep around 7. but maybe now that devin wont be taking her to his job (cause he wont b needed anymore)she and i can spend more time together. cause i do wake up around 1 or 2. so we could spend the remander of day together.idk how it will work out. but something's got to give cause i miss her terribly.
i have been drenched in reading material lately. I LOVE it. i would rather read then watch tv. and when i do watch a little tv...i almost feel gulty about it cause i think...."this time watching tv could have spent knocking out a few pages of that book." til next time, lovelies

Thursday, August 5, 2010