Wednesday, December 31, 2008

2009 Goals

1.PERSONAL:
-Read at least two books a month
-Start School
- KEEP clean house
-Exercise

2.FINANCIAL:
-Save a little from EACH check
-Pay Medical bills
-Pay citibank

3.SPIRITUAL:
-Marry Devin
-Make all the meeting I can
-Read bible

4.HAIR:
-Protective growth Challenge:
KEEP my hair done
-Crown-N-Glory Technique (NO)

these goals i think will be a lil easier gor me to accomplish this year

2008 A year in review: DID I ACCOMPLISH MY GOALS??

so i have the post i made from last year of my goals that i wanted to accomplish. i will repost it and say rather or not i accomplished them with a simple "yes" or "no" and a small explanation.

The 2008 GOAL PLAN:AKIRA RAQUELL BOLLING
1.PERSONAL:
-Akira Raquell Bolling-having a baby!(YES)she is the coolest thing ever
-Read 50 books-personal study (YES)i read more but not 50 books
-Finnish School (NO)but i decided where i want to go and what i want to do and how i'm paying for it! i am soooo ready.
-Clean House-dont let it get messy (NO)well, all things in time. lmaooo
-Bigger Apartment-move (YES)whew! by the skin of my teeth we just moved like a month ago
-Loose Weight (YES) i started 2008 at 172. i am now 130 ish. HOW YA LIKE ME!!

2.FINANCIAL:
-Save $1300.00 for Kira's stuff-before she gets here (NO) i never did
-Save a little from EACH check (NO)work in progress
-Pay Medical bills (NO) work in progress
-Pay citibank (NO) work in progress

3.SPIRITUAL:
-Devin (YES)we arent married. but we are engaged. MUCH BETTER
-Make all the meeting I can (NO)i made some but not all i could
-Read bible daily (NO)i started didnt finnish

4.HAIR:
-Protective growth Challenge (NO)
-Crown-N-Glory Technique (NO)

EVERYTHING THAT I DO FROM NOW ON OUT IS FOR MY DAUGHTER AND HER LIFE. ALTHOUGH THERE MAY BE A LOT OF PERSONAL GOALS WRITTEN HERE, THEY ALL ULTIMATELY ARE FOR HER BENEFIT. THAT IS WHY SHE IS WRITTEN AS ONE OF MY PERSONAL GOALS.LOL.
Posted by MyLoveMyLife at

Erykah Badu on How to make in the industry

video of poots saying her first word "stop"

video

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Poots Said Her First REAL word today!!!

lol. she sounded to cute and funny. but it was a word that she really isnt supposed to say. "stop." ok, this is how it went. i was eatting a bowl of noodles and it was real hot so i couldnt hold her or anything. but she was still trying to crawl to me. lol. so devin was grabbing her and pushing her back to the bed. well, the first time he did it she got a lil annoyed and just whinned a bit. but the second time he did it, she was trying to keep herself up and she said "oooo op." omg!! it was sooooo freakin hilarious. and we couldnt help but laugh. i figured we would excuse her this one time cause she was soooo darn cute. but after this she cant tell mommy and daddy to "stop" or in her language "ooo op" anymore. lmaooooo

awwww and she hhas two lil teeth. everything was just sooo extra cute. her teeth and the way she sounded saying stop. just too much.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

My Test results...this was pretty right

Audreys are receptive, good-natured, and supportive. They seek union with others and the world around them.


How to Get Along with Me

* If you want me to do something, how you ask is important. I especially don't like expectations or pressure
* I like to listen and to be of service, but don't take advantage of this
* Listen until I finish speaking, even though I meander a bit
* Give me time to finish things and make decisions. It's OK to nudge me gently and nonjudgmentally
* Ask me questions to help me get clear
* Tell me when you like how I look. I'm not averse to flattery
* Hug me, show physical affection. It opens me up to my feelings
* I like a good discussion but not a confrontation
* Let me know you like what I've done or said
* Laugh with me and share in my enjoyment of life




What I Like About Being an Audrey
* being nonjudgmental and accepting
* caring for and being concerned about others
* being able to relax and have a good time
* knowing that most people enjoy my company; I'm easy to be around
* my ability to see many different sides of an issue and to be a good mediator and facilitator
* my heightened awareness of sensations, aesthetics, and the here and now
* being able to go with the flow and feel one with the universe




What's Hard About Being an Audrey
* being judged and misunderstood for being placid and/or indecisive
* being critical of myself for lacking initiative and discipline
* being too sensitive to criticism; taking every raised eyebrow and twitch of the mouth personally
* being confused about what I really want
* caring too much about what others will think of me
* not being listened to or taken seriously




Audreys as Children Often
* feel ignored and that their wants, opinions, and feelings are unimportant
* tune out a lot, especially when others argue
* are "good" children: deny anger or keep it to themselves




Audreys as Parents
* are supportive, kind, and warm
* are sometimes overly permissive or nondirective


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Your result for Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz...

You Are an Audrey!


You are an Audrey -- "I am at peace"



Audreys are receptive, good-natured, and supportive. They seek union with others and the world around them.


How to Get Along with Me



  • * If you want me to do something, how you ask is important. I especially don't like expectations or pressure

  • * I like to listen and to be of service, but don't take advantage of this

  • * Listen until I finish speaking, even though I meander a bit

  • * Give me time to finish things and make decisions. It's OK to nudge me gently and nonjudgmentally

  • * Ask me questions to help me get clear

  • * Tell me when you like how I look. I'm not averse to flattery

  • * Hug me, show physical affection. It opens me up to my feelings

  • * I like a good discussion but not a confrontation

  • * Let me know you like what I've done or said

  • * Laugh with me and share in my enjoyment of life




What I Like About Being an Audrey

  • * being nonjudgmental and accepting

  • * caring for and being concerned about others

  • * being able to relax and have a good time

  • * knowing that most people enjoy my company; I'm easy to be around

  • * my ability to see many different sides of an issue and to be a good mediator and facilitator

  • * my heightened awareness of sensations, aesthetics, and the here and now

  • * being able to go with the flow and feel one with the universe




What's Hard About Being an Audrey

  • * being judged and misunderstood for being placid and/or indecisive

  • * being critical of myself for lacking initiative and discipline

  • * being too sensitive to criticism; taking every raised eyebrow and twitch of the mouth personally

  • * being confused about what I really want

  • * caring too much about what others will think of me

  • * not being listened to or taken seriously




Audreys as Children Often

  • * feel ignored and that their wants, opinions, and feelings are unimportant

  • * tune out a lot, especially when others argue

  • * are "good" children: deny anger or keep it to themselves




Audreys as Parents

  • * are supportive, kind, and warm

  • * are sometimes overly permissive or nondirective



Take Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz
atHelloQuizzy



Paste this code into Orkut:


Your result for Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz...

You Are an Audrey!


You are an Audrey -- "I am at peace"



Audreys are receptive, good-natured, and supportive. They seek union with others and the world around them.


How to Get Along with Me



  • * If you want me to do something, how you ask is important. I especially don't like expectations or pressure

  • * I like to listen and to be of service, but don't take advantage of this

  • * Listen until I finish speaking, even though I meander a bit

  • * Give me time to finish things and make decisions. It's OK to nudge me gently and nonjudgmentally

  • * Ask me questions to help me get clear

  • * Tell me when you like how I look. I'm not averse to flattery

  • * Hug me, show physical affection. It opens me up to my feelings

  • * I like a good discussion but not a confrontation

  • * Let me know you like what I've done or said

  • * Laugh with me and share in my enjoyment of life




What I Like About Being an Audrey

  • * being nonjudgmental and accepting

  • * caring for and being concerned about others

  • * being able to relax and have a good time

  • * knowing that most people enjoy my company; I'm easy to be around

  • * my ability to see many different sides of an issue and to be a good mediator and facilitator

  • * my heightened awareness of sensations, aesthetics, and the here and now

  • * being able to go with the flow and feel one with the universe




What's Hard About Being an Audrey

  • * being judged and misunderstood for being placid and/or indecisive

  • * being critical of myself for lacking initiative and discipline

  • * being too sensitive to criticism; taking every raised eyebrow and twitch of the mouth personally

  • * being confused about what I really want

  • * caring too much about what others will think of me

  • * not being listened to or taken seriously




Audreys as Children Often

  • * feel ignored and that their wants, opinions, and feelings are unimportant

  • * tune out a lot, especially when others argue

  • * are "good" children: deny anger or keep it to themselves




Audreys as Parents

  • * are supportive, kind, and warm

  • * are sometimes overly permissive or nondirective



Take Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz
at HelloQuizzy


Paste this code in to LiveJournal:


Your result for Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz...

You Are an Audrey!

mm.audrey_.jpg

You are an Audrey -- "I am at peace"



Audreys are receptive, good-natured, and supportive. They seek union with others and the world around them.


How to Get Along with Me



  • * If you want me to do something, how you ask is important. I especially don't like expectations or pressure

  • * I like to listen and to be of service, but don't take advantage of this

  • * Listen until I finish speaking, even though I meander a bit

  • * Give me time to finish things and make decisions. It's OK to nudge me gently and nonjudgmentally

  • * Ask me questions to help me get clear

  • * Tell me when you like how I look. I'm not averse to flattery

  • * Hug me, show physical affection. It opens me up to my feelings

  • * I like a good discussion but not a confrontation

  • * Let me know you like what I've done or said

  • * Laugh with me and share in my enjoyment of life




What I Like About Being an Audrey

  • * being nonjudgmental and accepting

  • * caring for and being concerned about others

  • * being able to relax and have a good time

  • * knowing that most people enjoy my company; I'm easy to be around

  • * my ability to see many different sides of an issue and to be a good mediator and facilitator

  • * my heightened awareness of sensations, aesthetics, and the here and now

  • * being able to go with the flow and feel one with the universe




What's Hard About Being an Audrey

  • * being judged and misunderstood for being placid and/or indecisive

  • * being critical of myself for lacking initiative and discipline

  • * being too sensitive to criticism; taking every raised eyebrow and twitch of the mouth personally

  • * being confused about what I really want

  • * caring too much about what others will think of me

  • * not being listened to or taken seriously




Audreys as Children Often

  • * feel ignored and that their wants, opinions, and feelings are unimportant

  • * tune out a lot, especially when others argue

  • * are "good" children: deny anger or keep it to themselves




Audreys as Parents

  • * are supportive, kind, and warm

  • * are sometimes overly permissive or nondirective



Take Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz
at HelloQuizzy


Paste this code into Blogger:

Your result for Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz...

You Are an Audrey!

mm.audrey_.jpg


You are an Audrey -- "I am at peace"



Audreys are receptive, good-natured, and supportive. They seek union with others and the world around them.


How to Get Along with Me



  • * If you want me to do something, how you ask is important. I especially don't like expectations or pressure

  • * I like to listen and to be of service, but don't take advantage of this

  • * Listen until I finish speaking, even though I meander a bit

  • * Give me time to finish things and make decisions. It's OK to nudge me gently and nonjudgmentally

  • * Ask me questions to help me get clear

  • * Tell me when you like how I look. I'm not averse to flattery

  • * Hug me, show physical affection. It opens me up to my feelings

  • * I like a good discussion but not a confrontation

  • * Let me know you like what I've done or said

  • * Laugh with me and share in my enjoyment of life




What I Like About Being an Audrey

  • * being nonjudgmental and accepting

  • * caring for and being concerned about others

  • * being able to relax and have a good time

  • * knowing that most people enjoy my company; I'm easy to be around

  • * my ability to see many different sides of an issue and to be a good mediator and facilitator

  • * my heightened awareness of sensations, aesthetics, and the here and now

  • * being able to go with the flow and feel one with the universe




What's Hard About Being an Audrey

  • * being judged and misunderstood for being placid and/or indecisive

  • * being critical of myself for lacking initiative and discipline

  • * being too sensitive to criticism; taking every raised eyebrow and twitch of the mouth personally

  • * being confused about what I really want

  • * caring too much about what others will think of me

  • * not being listened to or taken seriously




Audreys as Children Often

  • * feel ignored and that their wants, opinions, and feelings are unimportant

  • * tune out a lot, especially when others argue

  • * are "good" children: deny anger or keep it to themselves




Audreys as Parents

  • * are supportive, kind, and warm

  • * are sometimes overly permissive or nondirective



Take Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz
at HelloQuizzy


Paste this code into an HTML page:


Your result for Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz...

You Are an Audrey!

mm.audrey_.jpg


You are an Audrey -- "I am at peace"



Audreys are receptive, good-natured, and supportive. They seek union with others and the world around them.


How to Get Along with Me



  • * If you want me to do something, how you ask is important. I especially don't like expectations or pressure

  • * I like to listen and to be of service, but don't take advantage of this

  • * Listen until I finish speaking, even though I meander a bit

  • * Give me time to finish things and make decisions. It's OK to nudge me gently and nonjudgmentally

  • * Ask me questions to help me get clear

  • * Tell me when you like how I look. I'm not averse to flattery

  • * Hug me, show physical affection. It opens me up to my feelings

  • * I like a good discussion but not a confrontation

  • * Let me know you like what I've done or said

  • * Laugh with me and share in my enjoyment of life




What I Like About Being an Audrey

  • * being nonjudgmental and accepting

  • * caring for and being concerned about others

  • * being able to relax and have a good time

  • * knowing that most people enjoy my company; I'm easy to be around

  • * my ability to see many different sides of an issue and to be a good mediator and facilitator

  • * my heightened awareness of sensations, aesthetics, and the here and now

  • * being able to go with the flow and feel one with the universe




What's Hard About Being an Audrey

  • * being judged and misunderstood for being placid and/or indecisive

  • * being critical of myself for lacking initiative and discipline

  • * being too sensitive to criticism; taking every raised eyebrow and twitch of the mouth personally

  • * being confused about what I really want

  • * caring too much about what others will think of me

  • * not being listened to or taken seriously




Audreys as Children Often

  • * feel ignored and that their wants, opinions, and feelings are unimportant

  • * tune out a lot, especially when others argue

  • * are "good" children: deny anger or keep it to themselves




Audreys as Parents

  • * are supportive, kind, and warm

  • * are sometimes overly permissive or nondirective



Take Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz
at HelloQuizzy


Paste this code into a BBC:

[i]
Your result for Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz... [/i][url=http://www.helloquizzy.com/tests//results/are-you-a-jackie-or-a-marilyn-or-someone-else-mad-menera-female-icon-quiz/?fromCGI=1&var_ABC=2&var_XYZ=1][b]You Are an Audrey![/b][/url][i]mm.audrey_.jpg

[/i][url=http://www.helloquizzy.com/tests/are-you-a-jackie-or-a-marilyn-or-someone-else-mad-menera-female-icon-quiz]Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz[/url] at [url=http://www.helloquizzy.com][b][color=#ac000c]H[/color][color=#131313]ello[/color][color=#ac000c]Q[/color][color=#131313]uizzy[/color][/b][/url]
... to share the news "You Are an Audrey!"

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re: I Am The Shit!! I FEEL THIS WAY

ooooooo i'm in on this challenge

but i wanna comment on:
"ugh, your nose is so fat" or "eww, you just look bad today" "you have no ass and you're so skinny, yet you have a stretch marked gut" (lmaoo, I just had to laugh at that) but yea.. I and I'm sure a lot of other people just say a million things negative about themselves so i wanted to do a challenge..

i have NEVER looked in the mirror and SAID aloud to myself these negative things . but i have looked in the mirror and felt bad about what i saw.

so i changed it!
simply put.

there were things like my hair looking a mess (so i get it done), my skin not being even ( so i use cream to even it out and i use a pretty foundation until it all is) i want to loose a few pounds (so i go to the gym) and the things that i cant chnge (sggy boobies, stretch marks, facial structure ie ur nose ect) i pray tp ACCEPT those things. cause it's the only one i got. i pray that i change my point of veiw on them. i pray that i focuse on what my body has done for me.yes, my belly has stretch marks but it stretched to conform and confortably fit and house a beautiful lil girl. the saggy boobies sag because they nourished a beautiful lil girl and made her happy and strong. god made our bodies do what they do for a reason. count it a privledge.

and if none of this helps......i dont know if it matters that i think ur a rockin hot sexy beast....i'd tap dat ass! lmaoooooooo

Sam's Blog: I Am The Shit

so, once again I was on my natural hair site and I was reading one of the posts from a member. In this post she said that she had applied for this position at some company five times and got turned down. She ended the post by saying that she was a loser. Other members chimed in and said that she wasn't a loser and it just made me think for a minute. Why is it so easy to say bad things about ourselves and give ourselves bad labels? we say things like; I can't do it, I'll never be good enough, I suck, I'm a failure. I've said this to myself many times. I look in the mirror and I go "ugh, your nose is so fat" or "eww, you just look bad today" "you have no ass and you're so skinny, yet you have a stretch marked gut" (lmaoo, I just had to laugh at that) but yea.. I and I'm sure a lot of other people just say a million things negative about themselves so i wanted to do a challenge..

the "I am the shit (not because I stink, I smell good as hell)" challenge ..
basically I'm trying to create a whole new positive mind frame in 09 and beyond and I heard it takes 28 days to form a habit so for the next 28 and beyond I am going to replace every negative thought I have with a positive thought and whenever I remember I will tell myself that I am beautiful and smart and I am a good person..

credits to
http://loveofonesself.blogspot.com/2008/12/i-am-shit.html

Sunday, December 21, 2008

What I Went Through This Summer: COMMING CLEAN

ok so this summer and basically for the past 6 mos or so i have been really struggling with some personal issues and one of them being my hair. i am not afraid to share this part of my life with u all because i feel as though i have triumphed over it and i feel much better now. but being a new mom and having a TOTALLY new life then what i am used to really took it's tole on me and my appearence. i would set goals for myself and not accomplish them therfore feeling like a failure and not wanting to document that i DIDNT. but i feel as though if i humble share my life and my triumphs with whomever may come accross my lil blog i may impact him/ her somehow. after all isnt this the whole premise of BOTH of my blogs?? so we will take a small journey back 6 mos and i will update u on my natural hair hurt, pain, and undieing LOVE!!

after i had my daughter , i began to feel really down on myself. feeling unpretty, sad and generally ill. it wasnt a good time for me. so in my post pardum frenzzy i PERMED MY HAIR!! i was feeling like i wanted to feel pretty. and i just looked and felt really DRY and ugly to myself with my natural hair. the perm lasted for 2 weeks. because during that two weeks i thought of and hated what i had become. i hated my mindset. i thought i had grown as a natural women. i thought that after 4 years of being 100% natural that i had grown past the twisted mentality that permed hair = beauty. and that i would be attractive to my fiancee and myself if i had permed hair. now, no, i am in no way AGAINST perms. i am not the natural that bashes and hates permed women. i hate the MENTALITY of MOST permed women and most black people in america. the mentality that permed or straight hair = beauty, being attractive , and you feeling sexy. if u feel as though : " my natural hair is BEAUTIFUL and i am just as beautiful with my natural hair as i am with my permed hair but i CHOOSE to get a perm because it is my PERSONAL PREFFERENCE." but there is something wrong if u do not feel as if having permed hair is just ur PREFERENCE and THAT it is just as beautiful as permed hair. and this is what i was struggling with post giving birth. it never showed its UGLY face until after i had my daughter. i was going through a lot of confidence and self esteem issues. so it took me having to perm my hair and feeling/ thinking/ LITERALLY screaming "WHAT HAVE I DONE to myself!!!" for me to realize that permed hair was not the answer for me EVER agin in LIFE. I HATED IT! i wanted nothing more then to feel ME again and to fall in love with WHO I AM NATURALLY. i had to stay tru to myself and i realized that for me, my confidence and self esteem issues went much deeper then just having PERMED HAIR. it was that i needed to convince MYSELF that i AM beautiful. i am beautiful TO ME! and it LITERALLY doesnt matter what ANYONE says, feels, or thinks of me. and yes it took me 23 years to realize this. i was feeling unattractive to my fiance devin. and after i permed my hair he said to me "i never told you to perm your hair and i do think ur pretty.blah blah blah...some more stuff." but at the end of the day it didnt take him SAYING "i dont think you are pretty keshai." cause he NEVER did. i dont see him admiring natural women. when i ask him if he thinks a natural women is pretty it's ALWAYS " no! her hair looks like SHIT!" or some other ignorant crap. but he is attracted to permed women. he has told me that he doesnt like natural hair. and things like that fucked with my confidence. because i was natural and ALREADY feeling ugly post pardum. so i felt like "how can he be attracted to me if i have what he hates??" so i began to absorb his twisted mindset and the mindsets of most blacks in america. so in the 6 mo after kira's birth my twisted self esteem, confidence and mental condition began to eat away and dwindle at the reasons y i was natural, it ate away at the reason y i was a queen and BEAUTIFUL to myself and had felt fine for so many years as a natural. i didnt believe it anymore. so i back tracked into thinking that if i permed my hair i would become beautiful to him and to myself. he would look at me and see my hair and think i was JUST AS PRETTY/ MORE BEAUTIFUL then the women walking down the street or on the tv screen. i was so so so wrong! i realized that i had problems. that if i let a man and society control me and my mental state to the point that i would back track into something i HATED I HAD ISSUES FAR GREATER THEN JUST HAIR! and far greater then HIS ignorance:
1. being my confidence and self esteem. no matter what any man ,women, kid or WHOMEVER says or thinks it needed to stay in tact and strong. kat williams put it comically and ever so lightly when he said : (in a high pitched female voice) "u fucked with my self esteem." " BITCH! how i fuck with YOUR self esteem?? that aint got nothing to do with ME. IT'S THE ESTEEM of YOUR mutha fuckin SELF!!! How i fuck with how YOU feel ABOUT YOU?!?!" how true he is!
2. being sted fast and STRONG in MY beliefs. come WHATEVER, hell or high waters. i believe what i want and hold true to my values.

so i knew i needed to self medicate. self love. first i did research again on natural hair and its care, it beauty and reasons y it's the better choice for me. i looked up pics of pretty styles and did all the things i did when i went natural 4 years ago that helped to develop my love of natural hair in the first place. then i began to take better care of me. i mean how can i take care of poots if i dont take care of me first?? so thats what i was dealing with these past few months far as my hair is concerned. along with general issues of dealing with anger, depression, and problems in my life that would rise. but i am getting better now. and have decided to pick back up where i left off far as documenting this hair thing i looove
I plan on getting my hair done again at that shop DREDZ n HEADZ (hope i spelled it right) it is finally long enough for me to be able to cornrow and get a weave. i cant just cornrow it and leave it cause it will still look fuzzy but i can cornrow it and put a weave over top. i am excited about this!! While my weave is in (which, by the way, i plan on redoing every month- month and a half) i will be following using this growth oil as a scalp nourisher and growth aid http://myhairmonologue.blogspot.com/search/label/Moe%27s%20Hair%20Growth%20Oil
http://www.nappturality.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=118226

MOE GROW: ALL CREDITS DUE TO MOE OF NAPPTURALITY.COM
http://public.fotki.com/newmoe1/hair-growth-challenge-/

NEED
1. jojoba oil
2. horsetail grass
3. aloe vera gel
4. my weave

I WILL BE
1.getting a weave
2.using this growth oil
i have been finally able to do SOMETHING with my hair with it FINALLY getting some length to it. so over the Thanks Giving Holiday i went to a natural hair care salon here in Baltimore( http://www.dreadznheadz.com/ ) i had been wanting to try this salon for sooooo long. and when i finally did and i walked in the place i was like "oh?? this is it??". not to be condensending to them or thier shop because the stylist do wonderful hair , i was taken aback by the look of the shop. i dont know. this salon is responsible for almost all if not ALL of the natural hair events and what nots that happen around the baltimore/ washington area. however i had never had my hair done in this shop prior to this day. when i walked in it looked like a regular hum drum salon. i was expecting something sooo much more grand and just BETTER. i mean...my mothers two salons look WAY better then this. well, that was just the appearence. at any rate they do great hair. lmaooo i guess thats y they have the rep they do here in baltimore. when i walked in i hopping to get one style but upon my consultation with the shop owner she told me that i would be unable to get that particular style i wanted because my hair was "too long" for it. she said i could either get cornrows or comb coils. well i immediately opted for the cornrows because i have personally always been put off by comb coils. i mean they look great on other people but i never thought I would look right with them. so i go buy cornrow hair and the stylist begins them but after she finnishes one or two she stopped and said "i dont want you to be dissapointed by the condition of these braids when i get done, but they dont look right. your hair is too short and they are a lil fuzzy. i dont feel confortable with doing something i am not pleased with and that i know u wont be also. the problem is, is that you are at a really dumb point in your hair growth where your options are kind of limited. and it's too short to many styles but too long to do others. right now ur best bet is the comb coils. you should be able to do much more, including cornrows in abouuuuut another month of growth" i was annoyed , but what could i do and i wasnt walking out of that shop without my hair in some sort of style. so i said "yes" to the comb coils and prayed that i would like them. AND I LOOOOVED THEM:


They were soooooo cute. they look good. only thing is that she used beeswax in them to make them stay and of coarse that was hell washing out and it didnt make them last very long. as a matter of fat that was my problem with this style it diesnt last long and she used beeswax. so needless to say i will NOT be getting them again. but i WILL be going to that shop again. i like the conversation and how i was treated in general there. i gotta say though, going in my expectations were not rel high for this place. but i was pleasently surprised. GOOD JOB!
sorry to all (the two people) that read my hair and health blog. lmaoo. but ok so my hair has grown in the past few months that i havnt really posted. i actually have a new regimen that had REALLY helped my edges come in and it helped my hair get to the length i wanted it to be by the beginning of the year:
DAILY
1. i co wash in the shower with a mix of conditioner and oil. And put a plastic shower cap over it all and let it sit while i shower.
- my oil spray bottle contains: jojoba oil, rosemary oil, tea tree oil and
coconut oil
i belive that this oil mix could be the one and only reason y i have seen SUCH a increase in the genral health, appearence and growth of my hair, especilly my edges.

2. After my shower: I moisturize with The Taliah Wajid moisturizer (see below in product review)

3. in the morning (or at least once a day) i moisturize with pure shea butter.
WEEKLY:
I FINALLY bought a heat cap for my handheld dryer. i have wanted one of these since i became NATURAL. it was like 10.00 or something. idk, when i wanted one sooo bad they were hella expensive like 30.00 plus. but when i stop paying attention to it the price goes down. anyways:

1. I deep condition with heat cap and Henna n Placenta conditioner. it does really good!

BI WEEKLY:

1. Shampoo and Condition with Jason's shampoo and conditioner

Saturday, December 20, 2008

He didnt get his pay check...but check how i handled myself

i am so proud of how i handled myself and that i didnt allow myself to get angry and all worked up. so devin was supposed to get payed this weekend and well he didnt. nobody communicated anything with him and he didnt ask any questions. now, i still get mad when i think about it so i wont get into the details because i dont want to disrespect him on the world wide web. but what i proud of is how i delt with it. understand i was looking farward to that money because i had things to do. i wanna get my hair done, pay some bills ect. and the the fact that he didnt ASK about it irritated me even more and how noncelant he is about the whole matter. but i kept my cool. i remained calm for MY OWN peace and health. personal growth is great.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Just Writting

WEll i am happy to report that we are all (but especially poots) FINALLY feeling better. i am unhappy to report however....that we are still not unpacked. and i am working the next like 10 days in a row. it sucks cause i get two-three hours of sleep a day. because i can only catch a wink when poots finally decides SHE wants to nap. so i load on coffee all night while at work. lmaoooo so all day she is hopping around, eattin stuff, ect. it aint so cute no more cause my ass is sleepy. but what do u do. speaking of her she has two little teeth comming in. THEY ARE SOOO CUTE!! they look like tic tacs. i wish i could kiss them. FINALLY they are here. i was beginning to wonder about that. i was thinking "mmm she's almost a year old and she still doesnt have any teeth or hair." but now look at her tic tacs comming through! i did love the gums though. and her breathe is always so fresh and sweet smelling. i'm going to miss that when she gets older and all the teeth start to come in. anyways, i worked out tonight. and let me tell u, i feel so good. i hit the shower when i was done and the whole experience was just GREAT. i would like to buy a tredmill for the home so i can run when i catch a minute. but i am going to start to work out now more often then not. no matter what, even if i'm sleepy. it just feels too good afterwards.

this weekend i have to work but i plan on getting my hair done and devin's grandma is having a party, so he wants to go there. whatev...long as i get my hair done i dont care what we do. lmaoooo.

i feel bad because not to long ago Aerica hit poots cause she was getting into something she aint have no business. i was there, but i didnt see poots getting into whatever it was she was doing. so me, aerica, devin and poots are all in the room together. poots gets into whatever and aerica hits her. well i always told myself and devin that i never wanted anyone eles hitting poots but us (devin and i). so i went and grabbed poots and devin said to me "if you dont want aerica hitting her just tell her." and i am soooo mad at myself because i didnt. i said nothing to her. and at that time my reasoning was because i just didnt feel like no drama, no hurt feelings, no misundestanding, ect ect that goes along with everytime i bring something to thier attention that bothers me. on top of that i aint feel like hearing aerica fuss. idk if she would have FOR SURE, but i didnt want to take that chance. because it has happened so many times in the past. so i have reason to feel y i do. but i am soooo angry with myself because i should have stood up to her regaurdless of rather or not i felt she was gonna fuss, get offended whatever. i should have done it for poots. i feel like crying because i didnt defend my child when i always said that i would. i let someone eles spank her and get away with it because i didnt want to offend her. well FUCK that, what about how SHE offended me?? so i know i still have work to do with myself. not feeling intimidated especially when it comes down to my child. there is no excuse for what i did. i feel terrible. but on top of all that i told devin how i felt and y i didnt say anything to aerica and i felt like he should have said something to her for me then. i mean it was a agreement that we BOTH made not to allow anyone eles to spank poots but us. so if i felt intimidated as a women, shouldnt he have stepped up and said something to aerica for BOTH me and poots and HIM??? y was it left in my hands?? mmmmmmm...


and my world just keeps spinning. like a tornado. spin, spin, spin

Friday, December 12, 2008

So I Dont Understand

How is it that MY vehicle was parked and hit and yet i am the one with a family and on the bus stop in the cold rain at nine o clock at night waiting on the 44 bus, which runs like shit might i add. i am now sick. i am sooo mad. this shit is soooo fuckin unfair. what if my baby has a asthma attack? how am i supposed to get groceries? i hate this shit. so unfair. but i bet that wench that hit me has her car, she prolly riding around right now. but i'm the one on the bus stop til who knows when. but i told myself earlier this week that i aim not going to cry. i am not going to cry. i will be strong. i have yet to cry about my situation. that i am still paying money for a car that i do not have, that i dont have a car due to something that is not my fault. i am calling everyone in this situation tommorrow and cussin some mother fuckers out!

Thursday, December 11, 2008

This Weekend

i am looking sooo farward to looking one way this weekend and doing absolutly NOTHING. this friday i need to go grocery shopping and focus on unpacking more. other then that i just wanna lay around a nd sleep. i cought devin and poots cold. im worried cause poots is never gonna get better with EVERYBODY in the damn house sick. well, imma focus on making my family well. make some home made chicken noodle soup. mmm...that sounds good. poots loooove chicken soup. lol.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Well We're All Moved In

And i had written a really long blog on my sidekick but it didnt post for some reason and becasue of that i got really discouraged and therefore havnt made any updates. i will just highlight the important parts. soooooo much has been going on. on friday i was finally done with packing for the most part.and saturday we moved in. poots has been sick with a cold these past few days and she had a temp a couple days ago. we had to take her to the er yesturday morning because i called her dr because of her cold. she sneezed and boogies came up with blood in it. that concerned me so i called the dr. but while the dr. was on the phone she could hear poots in the backgroud coughing really hard and said that i need to take her to the emergency room because she is coughing too hard. so we did that and we stayed there allll day. the dr in the er said that her cold gave her a ear infection and this cold COULD be the beginnings of asthma for her. (devin has it) so they gave me a baby asthma inhailer for her and did some traetments with this misty medicine. aughhhh it was just a really stressfull past couple days. i have hated it. but the move is over so i can concentrate on her now.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Today: 11/3 Moving News

today i was able to get quit a bit done far as packing is concerned. what made it easier id that we decided to throw EVERYTHINg away that we do not currently wear and to just start all over again when we get into the new house. that made the load sooooo much easier. less clothse and crap to deal with. i just packed three big bags of clothse. and i have two big bens from Walmart that i will use to put more clothse in. once those two are full of clothse i am throwing the rest away. that will be soo much off my mind. i got the keys for the new apartment today. in the morning i will drop my first car load off. i plan on taking the little things one car load at a time until saturday. which is the big move day. speaking of cars. i hate this tiny as rental. it has noooooo trunk space or anything like that. i wonder when my car will be ready. yes, it still isnt fixed yet from like two mos ago when that dumb ass lady hit it. and my insurance company is trying to say that the accident didnt cause my gear box not to work and not to shift. i am sooo mad. i had just pulled into my parking spot 10 minutes b4 it was hit. and it was PARKED, i wasnt in it. how can ANYTHING possibly be my fault?? this world is soo sooo stank and i hate it. what the fuck is the point in paying 200 dollars for insurnce a month if when the shit gets hit you still can get it fixed. i hate this world. full of nothing but crooks and fools. i'm mad because i still have to pay that truck off rather i have it or not, rather it's fixed or not. i wonder where the bus stop and all is at my new house. i hope i only have to take one. like i did in my old apartment. that worked out great cause for a while i didnt have a car and the bus stop was a ten minute walk away. well, in this apartment we live a lil closer to the hospital. not much but it's better.

so today 11/2 :moving news

i went looking for boxes today. *sigh* i only found three. but not to dismay....the person in the store i found the three boxes in told me about another store that has bixes in the mornings. so i will go there in the morning when i get off. it's sooo hard to get anything packed or taken care of during the day until devin gets home from work. after 8:30. then i have to get ready for work at 10:00p.m. so i only have like a hour to do anything really.

Monday, December 1, 2008

We're Moving This Week

and i am sooo excited. i am determined to document my feelings this week. of stress and excitment. mmmm...not a good emotional combination topped with sleeplessness. i feel like a tight bottle of shaken soda. so tense, and ready to pop. lol. once it is all over with i know i will feel better. but i have to contend with not having any money, not having any gas, having to wake up to take devin and pick him up from work, packing,finding boxes, cleaning, and getting this bitch ass situation with my car straightened out. now the insurance company is trying to say that my gear box not working is not due to the accident. it was FINE 10 minutes before it was hit when i parked the shit. i get so mad! this is suuuch a crooket world.

at any rate we have a lil over a half tank of gas and in the morning i need to find boxes from somewhere. i have decided to do this a lil at a time and move the bedroom set lastly.

so devin told me that his family thinks i always have my mouth in thier business. that somethings they discuss needs to be kept in the family and not discussed with me. i thought i was apart of the family at this point. it hurt my feelings. basically they say not to tell me anything because i am nosey. i am soooo hurt. he said that keith and felicia say that i am always in thier relationship. WHAT?! i never even call them, and whenever we talk it's because of them calling me.

i am just soooo tired of always being the bad guy with these people. so tired. i have decided that since i am not part of thier family and obviously i never will be i wont try to be a part of it any more. no more dinners, no more going over there. none of that. no phone calls. i will let them be with poots and thats it. im tired of trying with futile efforts to mesh with these folks and having my feelings stepped on. fuck it, im done