Thursday, April 25, 2019
Wednesday, April 24, 2019
Tuesday, April 9, 2019
Thursday, April 4, 2019
I'm Finally Over It
I'm happy that being disfellowshipped doesnt bother me anymore. I don't worry about it. So much time has gone by and I have moved on with my life. It wasnt a easy move, but I did it. I honestly believe that at this point I can sit at the Kingdom hall for it's intended purposes and enjoy the service. Not feeling any anger, or sadness, without crying or feeling nostalgic. It's been a slow healing process. It was A LOT to deal with. However I am still praying over and having faith that my mother and I will be close again WITHOUT my having to be one of Jehovah's Witness'.
At this point what I really want to focus on is quitting smoking, loving myself, working, and doing fun things with my children. My energy has to be refocused and directed towards rebuilding my life positively. After being disfellowshipped things got crazy fast and didn't go as I would have liked. It's ok now though because the load is lifted. I'm working two jobs now during the week and getting my babies and having fun on the weekends. My bills are finally paid down and I have more room to move around financially.
The Kingdom Hall and Jehovah's Witness' will always have a special place in my heart. I am so grateful to it for how I was raised. It laid my foundation and gave me a belief system. SOMETHING to believe in is a big deal to me. So I will always look at it with a loving heart, but I DO take issue with the whole disfellowshipping system. That whole section hangs a dark cloud over the JW's for me. And because of that I can't belong to it, nor do I want my children in it. I have no desire to strive to be reinstated like I used to. I only want to study what makes sense to ME spiritually. 'm an adult now and so i know what's best for my spirit.
At this point what I really want to focus on is quitting smoking, loving myself, working, and doing fun things with my children. My energy has to be refocused and directed towards rebuilding my life positively. After being disfellowshipped things got crazy fast and didn't go as I would have liked. It's ok now though because the load is lifted. I'm working two jobs now during the week and getting my babies and having fun on the weekends. My bills are finally paid down and I have more room to move around financially.
The Kingdom Hall and Jehovah's Witness' will always have a special place in my heart. I am so grateful to it for how I was raised. It laid my foundation and gave me a belief system. SOMETHING to believe in is a big deal to me. So I will always look at it with a loving heart, but I DO take issue with the whole disfellowshipping system. That whole section hangs a dark cloud over the JW's for me. And because of that I can't belong to it, nor do I want my children in it. I have no desire to strive to be reinstated like I used to. I only want to study what makes sense to ME spiritually. 'm an adult now and so i know what's best for my spirit.
Tuesday, April 2, 2019
Just Writing
Things have been going really well for me lately. I have a lot to update so this should be a ong post. First and foremost I am most excited about having another part time job. I have wanted that for years now. And it FINALLY happened. I have been working there for a little over a month now. I like it. THere is only one manager I don't care for too much but fuck her. I just work as fast as I can when I work with her. Other than that i REALLY love working at Popeyes. The hours are great. In the evenings like 4-9 on Tuesday- Thursday. I do it for my babies. So that we can have extra money to shop and do fun stuff and get out of the house more on the weekends this summer. That's what I' really got the job for THEM! On the weekends.
This weekend i want to take them to a couple of stores on the bus and let them pick out something they like and want and then have dinner at IHOP. We'll go to the herbal store, so i can get some quit smoking tea. I REALLY am going to go this weekend and QUIT smoking. My doctor wants me to. I see a new doctor and have been talking to and visiting her pretty regularly. I enjoy it. Sometime you have to put your health FIRST. That's what i really want to do. Quit smoking so that my life can align with my vision on health, happiness, fun and prosperity. I've been working overtime at Good Sam too. It's ben a lot these past few weeks but it's been enjoyable and I reap the benefits of being able to shop and have a few extra dollars to spend.
I started a bible reading schedule about a month ago and hae been sticking to it MOSTLY regularly. The only days I missed was the few days I worked overtime and was too sleepy to read and the few days when I was doing my hair. It's been really fun chunking throught the bible. It's been so long since I read it through i'm enjoying recalling some of the biblical stories i grew up listening to and reading in the kingdom hall. I'm reading it to come to a understanding of it for MYSELF. With no other outside influence. Speaking of which I am going to the assembly with my dad at the end of April. I really want to see what crownsville looks like now and to sit and listen to the program with my dad will be fun. It's always been fun going to the assembly with my dad so I'm looking forward to that.
Things are looking up for me and i say IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME! The biggest icing on the cake is when I put cigarettes away for good and just rely on my tea and e-cig to give me something to do with my hands etc. Looking forward to all the summer festivals the kids and I are going to go to this year. It's going to be FUN!
This weekend i want to take them to a couple of stores on the bus and let them pick out something they like and want and then have dinner at IHOP. We'll go to the herbal store, so i can get some quit smoking tea. I REALLY am going to go this weekend and QUIT smoking. My doctor wants me to. I see a new doctor and have been talking to and visiting her pretty regularly. I enjoy it. Sometime you have to put your health FIRST. That's what i really want to do. Quit smoking so that my life can align with my vision on health, happiness, fun and prosperity. I've been working overtime at Good Sam too. It's ben a lot these past few weeks but it's been enjoyable and I reap the benefits of being able to shop and have a few extra dollars to spend.
I started a bible reading schedule about a month ago and hae been sticking to it MOSTLY regularly. The only days I missed was the few days I worked overtime and was too sleepy to read and the few days when I was doing my hair. It's been really fun chunking throught the bible. It's been so long since I read it through i'm enjoying recalling some of the biblical stories i grew up listening to and reading in the kingdom hall. I'm reading it to come to a understanding of it for MYSELF. With no other outside influence. Speaking of which I am going to the assembly with my dad at the end of April. I really want to see what crownsville looks like now and to sit and listen to the program with my dad will be fun. It's always been fun going to the assembly with my dad so I'm looking forward to that.
Things are looking up for me and i say IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME! The biggest icing on the cake is when I put cigarettes away for good and just rely on my tea and e-cig to give me something to do with my hands etc. Looking forward to all the summer festivals the kids and I are going to go to this year. It's going to be FUN!
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