Thursday, December 31, 2009

Bath Tub Poots

We had to spen the day down at the department of social services. AHHHHHHHHH!!! as u know it was a head ache. ALLLLL day we waited. we got there at 9:30 didnt leave til 4:00. makes no SENSE!! BUT on the plus side my poots was there, she's a doll. and a GOOD girl! go poo go poo!!


then we came home and she took her bath and got ready for bed. for christmas she got all these rubber duckies for the bath tub. she has so much fun with them...but uh..i think i have more fun with them rubber duckies when im in there then she does. lol
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Sunday, December 27, 2009

Weekend:12/25-26 CHRISTMAS WEEKEND!!!!!!

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This was Christmas Eve. I guess she was REAL happy. lol
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Poots Opening Her First Gift
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Me Helping Poots Open Her Gifts
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Poots Has PIANO!! she LOVES music and playing the piano. now she doesnt have to lay daddy's , she can play her OWN!!
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poots saying "thank you!" for her gifts .loooool. she's SOOO animated!. i LOVE it!
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dancing to the piano....you KNEW that was comming. it would NOT be POOTS if she wasnt dancing!! looool
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more general choreography. looool
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These are Pictures from Sunday. sturday we had an event too, but i didnt take any pictures. I dont know why. lol. but im so happy that i was there this weekend.to see poots open her gifts and be happy. i was planning on staying home,and letting them (poots and devin) enjoy the weekend alone. while i drowned my depression in vodka while soaking in my bath tub. lol. but i didnt. Ms. Paula (devin's mom) encouraged me to come out. and said SHE WANTED me there. lol. thats all that mattered. i love her








Friday, December 25, 2009

DID I ACCOMPLISH MY GOALS THIS YEAR?

Wednesday, December 31, 2008
2009 Goals

1.PERSONAL:
-Read at least two books a month (No)
-Start School (YES)
- KEEP clean house (No)
-Exercise (NO)

2.FINANCIAL:
-Save a little from EACH check (bwaaaahahaha!! NO)
-Pay Medical bills (no)
-Pay citibank (No)

3.SPIRITUAL:
-Marry Devin (no)
-Make all the meeting I can (no)
-Read bible (no)

4.HAIR:
-Protective growth Challenge:
KEEP my hair done
-Crown-N-Glory Technique (yes: but i cut it)

this is REDICULOUS!! the vast MAJORITY of these goals i did NOT accomplish. smh!!but alas there is 2010!

i will be BETTER to MYSELF in 2010

This year (2010) i am comming up on 25. i cant let this year be like the past 25 years of my life. i REALLY have to be better to MYSELF this year.
1.NOT TAKE CRAP
2.DO THINGS THAT MAKE ME FEEL GOOD. (MORE MENAL HEALTH DAYS) JUST TIME ALONE.
3.staying in/ FINNISHING SCHOOL
4.KEEPING MY HOUSE CLEAN and just staying on top of things more. 2009
5.Keeping myself up physically
6.doing more with poots
7.and being nicer to devin in general (*wasnt that my goal last year?) lol
8. not being so hyper all the time, and stressed out
i am so proud of how i have grown in 2009. going through this year has been so hard. with devin not having any work, and me having to hold things down myself. i was unable to do A LOT. but i really didnt care. i did more prayer, and despite al of that i enrolled in school just like i wanted. im proud of myself. lol. i will continue with school. lol.

I have been Drinking Water!!

YAY ME!! lol. i come to work and drink more then 1.5 liters. its easy to do while at work. cause i have the bahroom right here and i dont have anything eles to do but drink and pee. lol. so i get it in. now if i could just work on exercising more. lol

Inspire me Beautifully: Booty!! lol







i SOOOO want a big ol booty! and some hips. but whatever, i aint got it, bu i can look at people who do. "GON BITCH WIT YO BOSS SHAPE!!" lol

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Weekend Foolery: 12/19-20 POOTS FIRST SNOW!!

wooooooooo!!! we had so much fun!
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poots getting in trouble!!lol. i love her, but when she doesnt listen...i gots to lay the smack down! lol. but she still my boo!
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Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Poots Poots Poots!!

LMAOOOOOO!!!! look at the VERY end. she looks HILARARIOUS when she puts her booty in the camera. hahahahaha!!! i sound like a fool laughing
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Sunday, December 13, 2009

weekend foolery: 12/19-20

POOTS SINGING "It Kills Me" - Melanie Fiona
video Poots Jumpin On The Bed: lol shes SUCH a KID now
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Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Just Writting

so much has been going on lately. here goes:
1.devin has a job prospect. He went on the interview today.th ejob is with amtrack train station. and if he gets this job he will have to be away from home for like days on end. problems with this was: 1. he's gonna be GONE for DAYS and LONG hours. i feel like , im in a relationship for a reason. because i want to BE WITH him. 2.he will hardly get to see poots. 3.idk what imma do about school. because by him not being home at all and me working nights, whos gonna watch poots while im in school and at work. and i know about day car. but i feel so hung up about trusting people with people with my child. idk...on the plus of THIS is that my school does offer daycare on the campus for 35.00 a day. if i take classes one or two days a week, i could check on poots ANY time. i have thought about that. 4.i wonder wat temptation lay in the dark, with us being apart so much. i mean, niether one of us has ever cheated, but weare both guilty of doing some things that deserve the side eye. i just wonder how so much time apart is going to effect us.
im thinking that maybe this is just jehovah telling me to focus more on spiritual things. maybe without school and devin around so much i can get reinstated THEN go back to school. u know, first things first. idk...i really didnt want to stop school though, or skip a semester. speaking of which, thatmath shit is for the birds! idk if imma pass math. i hope so so bad. imma try real hard

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

So Scary

With Tuesday being World Aids day there has been a lot of testimonies, stories, stats ect. This morning when i got in from work i was listening to the Rickey Smiley morning show (which by the way is HILARIOUS, my FAVORITE morning show EVER) and he played the tape of a women who had called in the morning before and shared her story:
The women was crying so hard. Mintues before she called in her husband was listening to Rickey Smiley's show and his conscience started to bother him. He confessed to her after over 20 years of marriage thats he's on the DL (down low= secretly/ closeted gay) AND has KNOWINGLY been HIV possitive for the past 2 years.
OMG!! i was DONE!! she got tested and will get her results on friday. Rickey will announce them then. i hope with all my heart and might that her body is ONE OF THOSE FEW bodies that doesnt get HIV although being exposed to it. SOME people's body reacts like that. What her husband did to her was meanest and most cruel thing ANYONE could do.
At any rate. It wells up so much fear in you. That u really have to be sooo careful with people. who do u trust?? you cant trust anyone. its so sad that even after marriage u have to think twice about letting ur guard down and feeling secure in a relationship. After marriage you should be able to make ALLLLLLL the love u want WITH OUT a condom. BUT NOW THATS even tainted. idk if even after devin and i get married i want to take the condom off. its not that i dont trust him, its a protection thing. not using a condom is like putting your life in someone eles' hands, and im NOT willing to do that. am i wrong? Its just such a BIG risk to take. As soon as u think u can let ur guard ur down and be vulnerable u end up stabbed in the heart.
Maybe by some will that lady on the Rickey Smiley morning show will read this. i just want to let u know: that you are in my prayers. God has not forsaken you. Job went through tests, MANY people in the bible and in history have gone through SUCH tests of faith and God sees you. He loves you, and wants you to remain faithful. Please take your refuge in him. He loves you. Im thinking of you.

Last bit if pics from thanksgiving




My new scarf that i just LOVE and new glasses






just for reading i dont NEED them ALWAYS. im bout blind as a bat trying to read little print without them though

Inspire me Beautifully:KESH my new obsession

i spend hours at night looking at all her pics and reading her blog. i think she is absolutly BEAUTIFUL!!! he skin is to die for so smooth and healthy and i just love her hair and style. so fly so fly
BLOG: http://therealkesh.blogspot.com/
TWITTER: http://twitter.com/keshandkitty/
what i love about her is that she shops at the thrift store and then modifies her clothse to be more up to date. so her style is very vintage and inspired of the 80's. i LOVE it. i can only afford to shop at the thrift store right now. not onlt that but i love it ANYWAYS. even if i could afford something eles.lookin at her gives me ideas. my obsession with all things vintage has at times landed me in trouble (i can tend to look old ladyish) lol. but she gives me ideas!!