Thursday, August 28, 2008

imma just put it all out on the table.....I'm sure this has tortured for centuries

Y do men cheat? Call me insecure but I believe its because they want the sweet, mother of their child, average looking women at home. To come home to a cooked meal, clean house, and KNOWING she's faithful and always there. But there is a deeper darker part of every man that is guided by his penis. And this is all he thinks about. And this part of every man desires to cheat with the "hot mama". Big ass, firey personality, long straight hair down her back. Just everything that you are not. I get mad at myself because I don't put this past noooo man. I have been through so much shit in my life with men and the such that if a good man were to smack me n the face I wouldn't recognise it. Poor devin pays for this a everyday (damn near) with me. I hate it. And I know its not healthy for our relationship. But I look at him sideways with everything he does. I question him when he doesn't want me to answer his phone. I don't believe him when he says he's going certain places. Now...don't get me wrong. We have both done some shit in our relationship. But its like I can't get past his. Since those things have happened (he's never cheated just dumb ass shit happen) I just can bring myself to trust. Since other things in my life has happened I just can't bring myself to trust. And I feel he wants me to trust him COMPLETELY and UNCONDITIONALLY. And I can't. He wants to be able to have female friends and I not question it, have calls and I not question it, and other stuff that I'm not supposed to question. The thing is why shouldn't he be able to? We should BOTH be able to do these things without any problems and have one another still trust that we are faithful and acting how we are supposed to. But all I can think is that he is a young man and cheating is what they do. I'm sorry devin. I do love you

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ok, now I understand you point but on the other hand we as women have a thing called intuition and 9 times out of 10 we are right. When you question why he won't let you answer the phone and why you don't believe him when he says he is going certain places it is because deep down you know he is hiding something. Whenever I talk to another woman about this, they always tell me they had these feelings and in the end they were right. Second, as a couple and especially now as parents you should be able to have mutual friends among each other. He should be past wanting to talk to females alone and you should feel the same way to. If this is the man that you want to spend the rest of your life with, he should be your friend. Now I'm not saying your only friend but the desire to have that fling on the side should be gone. I think you guys should find couples with children who you both can spend time with and that will help with the trust issues you are having. Also when that trust is violated it is hard to get it back so it will take time. Give him the benefit of the doubt sometimes and dont go questioning him all the time. Sometimes you have to sit back, watch, listen and pray. Don't stress, enjoy your baby and life because in the end all things will be revealed. It never fails.

Jessica Dee said...

aww girl. I feel you, I've been there. I haven't been cheated on (I think) but he did choose another girl over me after I gave birth to our baby( It's a loong story). It's always made me feel some what insecure about myself, like I couldn't trust or open myself completely. Like hesitation and constant questioning is always in the back of my mind. I've definitely let go and got hurt again. But nothing hurt me like my babydaddy and I know that after I got through that, that there's nothing I can't get through and I am a true believer in karma. I'm gona keep doing what I'm doing regardless of whatever boyfriend I do have. As long as I didn't do nothing wrong I won't let nothing faze me. Cause it's not you, it's them. Good men are a rarity, and good women are starting to really fall off the radar. It's just sad how heartless people are becomming. How true virtue and moral are slowly going down the drain and the world is becomming a dog eat dog world. But I hope that you really see how wonderful you are and how lucky you are to have such a beautiful baby and nothing and no man can take that from you. Just keep your head up and love the way you want to be loved! & if it works out it does and if it doesn't, atleast you know you did your part and you were a good woman to him.