I wish that i could say what really wrong. but the pure and utter shame and embarassment goes against that. the physical and emotional pain caused by such is almost too much the handle. i hurt so bad. when will this get better. in my life i never wanted this for myself. i always wanted to protect my heart and space. but instead i wasnt smart. didnt make wise desicions and now i am paying the consequences...i will pay for life. what is this? i pray poots never has to experience this. i pray she think of herself first ALWAYS. lol...she does make it a lot easier to deal with. i am glad i have her. right now she's sitting beside me in her car seat contently playing with her blanket and feet. lol. sometimes i wish i were her. w/o a care in the world. my only responsibility being to wake up, grow, and make my mommy happy. her little body and waist is such a comfort to hold. she's so warm and soft. i love her so much.
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