Just Writting

I'm feeling a little more motivated than usual. I started the week  off well with a god exercise on Monday, cleaning, and washing and braiding my hair for the next two weeks, My goal is to keep it braided/ twisted for a month or so until I can get my hair braided by the professionals again. This time I will be keeping them in for 3 mos instead of two.
I worked out by my knees hurt so bad, I have to learn some knee strengthening exercises. I only want to loose about 10 pounds or so. I gained the weight on purpose but I didn't mean to gain THIS much.  MY issue with the way my body fat is set up is that when I gain weight is my weight never goes to the sexy places . It never goes to my butt and hips, it only goes to my gut. STRAIGHT STOMACH POUCH. and I hate that. I love the way I look over all from the weight gain (my thighs, face, breast etc) But by me having two kids my stomach is still loose. It's like I'm just not meant to have a ass. Because no matter what the weight wont go there. I didnt want 20 extra pounds just about 10 or 12. loool. Women are never satisfied with themselves. But really I just want to be healthy and in good shape. I want the HABIT and routine of working out. I want it to be something i do like 2nd nature. What I do believe is that a combination of weight gain AND a REGULAR workout/ ab routine will do my body good. My thing is workout consistency and my knee pain.
I promise myself to quit smoking. On my own. Without needing a partner, or supplements etc. It's something I want for myself bad enough. Jennifer Lopez said " You will ONLY make good decisions for yourself, when you love yourself." I want to love myself more and smoking doesnt show that i love myself AT ALL. She also said to set small goals for yourself and I have notice that when I set a small goal and accomplish it, it makes it easier to continue with it.
My baby girl go her first phone and I got one so she and I can talk and text on it all day. She is the only reason I finally broke down and got one. Cause I was having a grand time NOT paying that for that shit. So, i smoked 1/2 a cig my small goal for today is to go the rest of my work day without another cigarette break. I want to feel better physically and mentally about myself. Instead of going for smoke breaks today, imma go to the gift shop and get some snacks, and then when I am supposed to go on break imma go to the gym. Plus I downloaded twitter to help with my random thoughts. Imma take my vitamins and and drink my tea and just watch stuff and relax. o need to smoke. No need for my chest to feel tight and heavy. Sometimes I have shortness of breathe. All I want is to be smoke free. When I make it 3 days I can do the rest. But first things first day 1. I'll be tweeting my progress, thoughts and how I feel.