PRAY ABOUT IT!!

i want to talk to jehovah about EVERYTHING throug out my life. THrough out my DAY. i want to have him in my constant thoughts. i know i can just talk to him. as i would a respected friend. so i will. short prayers through out my day "you are with me" "i recieve you r grace"...ect. Prayer is the most important thing in life. it is the key and glue to your relationship with jehovah. i know this. my life is always in a uproar. but i read" the deepest level of worship is praising in dpite of pain, thanking god during a trial, trusting him when tempted, surrendering while suffering, and loving him when he seems distant." and this is exactly what i dont do!! when things get bad for me in my life i "fall off" from prayer. when i begin to realize things in my life i dont want to change , when the light become brighter i "fall off". i cant do that ANY MORE!! this is exactly what satan wants. he wants me to stop BECAUSE the truth hurts. i cant i will pray about not wanting to pray. i will pray about not remembering to pray. i will put post it notes around my house and in my hair, set my alarm to REMIND me to pray. i will pray no matter what. no matter how badly it hurts. i will be honest in my prayers. i will TELL jehovah that i KNOW i dont love him the WAY I SHOULD. BUT I WANT TO, i WANT HIM. i will be honest about not wanting to do what he asks, but i will pray for the strength to. i will FORCE myself to pray through my day. because the more i do it, the more i will want to do it, the more i will benefit from it. i dont know why i think it logical to not pray when things are bad. thats when i need jehovah the most. thats when satan is UP my spine. putting thoughts of incompitense in my mind.