i have never

been this consistant with doing my bible reading. and right now in my life all i want to focuse on is doing just THAT. i ONLY want BIBLE study aids and to read the BIBLE. i want NOTHING religious. i need to get my own thoughts together. i am quit confused about some things and i need to get it together. things like rather or not i am wanting to become involved with any particular religion. i am 110% sure of one thing in my life right now. that is: that i BELIEVE in god. i believe his name is jehovah. i believe in the angels, i believe in satan and his deamons. EVERYTHING eles (literally ) is up in the air. and i have NEVER felt this way before. i feel good and bad. right and wrong. but i will continue searching for my answers. i am scared, and nervous all at the same time. afraid of what i may find out about myself and what i need to change. its like, the deeper i get into my study of the bible the more i see needs changing in my life and i dont like it. i mean, i LIKE it, but i find it hard to change. and when u KNOW something and you arent changing it naggs at you. i am keeping it 100 with my readers and myself. keeping it real: the more i read the bible, the more it reveals truths and MYSELF and the more i REALIZE the more i cower at its power. it makes me want to put it down because WHAT am i DOING to BE RIGHT. i will not beat myself up. i am doing right but perservering in prayer and continueing to push through all of this. right now, i just want to focus on reading it and gaining knowledge and insite on what IT says.