Tuesday, June 3, 2008
i get my car back today
poota wont have to be on the bus stop anymore. YEAH!!! It was so annoying that she was. But u know what? She was ok. She didnt freeze, or burn up , or get soaking wet like i thought she would. I didnt catch a cold, or cry, or even care that she was on the bus. lol. she was OK. I'v been thinking lately about that. How so far she has been OK. Just Fine. I had all these terrible predictions in my mind of eminent disaster and problems. But so far everything has been fine. i feel releved. lol . Which leads me to feel that i will let myself go. I am going to love poota as hard and as much as i want, and although i have been doing that i have been afraid. Well i dont want to be afraid anymore. as a matter of fact i wont. she is the one person that i will give myself to unnconditionally and not be afraid of what COULD or MAY happen. Because just as these past few weeks passed with her on the bus and she was ok, years and a whole lifetime could pass by and things be just fine between us. i will work hard on her so that she always respects me and always WANTS me. WANTS to come to and talk to me. I dont think i will have a problem with that since the girl talks so much now. lol. her devin and i were sitting on the bed oassing time the other night and she was making SO MUCH NOISE it didnt make any sense. lol i said "hey poota, how are you the smallest one in here yet the loudest." she looked at me and kept talking. i wonder sooo much what she's talking about and what she's thinking about. i wonder if it frustrates her that she cant get it out. lol. well, i will continue to nurse this side of her it's good.