She Said it was SUPPOSED to be different

I was talking to my mom the other day and i was crying because of my situration with the baby shower. she told me to calm down and that everything was going to be ok. That i was strong and to keep my head up. But i guess the mother in her had to say "something eles". She went on to say "well, Ki, it was SUPPOSED to be different. You were supposed to let your dad and I pay for the wedding of your dreams and then throw you a big beautiful baby shower. But you wanted to do things differently, YOUR WAY." Her words felt strange but true. It made me angry that because i was hard headed and didnt do things the right way, i may not even get to have a baby shower with my real friends and all my family. And i damn sure wont get the Wedding i have always wanted. DAMN IT DAMN IT DAMN IT!! I wish I had listened to my mom. My life would be so different right now. i hope Kira listens to me.