How Do i Explain

On another website there is a forum for Healthy Pregnant Moms and in it one of the women told the story of how she recently miscarried. That is the saddest most hurtful thing a human could ever go through,is to loose a child no matter how old or young. You never think about grieveing the lose of your child, you think you'll be 'gone' before you have to deal with that. But I was praying and so greatful for the fact that I was able to carry my baby and that so far she is healthy. I am THANKFUL!! I couldnt imagin my life without her. But the point I am getting at is this: Why is that some people are fortunate enough to carry and have healthy children , while others have to suffer the pain of loosing thiers? Why are some children born dissabled, retarded, or worse DEAD, while others are perfect? Why do some people suffer through life tortured, abused and poor, while others are carefree and problem free (so it seems). How do I explain this to Kira? It seems so unfair. I dont even fully understand it.

Another thing i was thinking about was this: I know how i would teach her to identify sexual abuse and to come and tell me. But i do explain to her how to identify more abstract things like emotional, or physical abuse? Especially emotional abuse? On that same website , this time in another forum a women tells the story of how she was emotionally abused by her father. When she talked to her mother about it all her mom could say was "well, it could have been worse....at least it wasnt sexual and he took care of us financially." What kind of shit is that?? It's ALL the SAME and on the SAME level and does the SAME amount of damage to a human being. But how do I teach her THIS type of hurt? How do i teach her that if I pop her thighs out of dicipline I am not ABUSING her , but that there is a thin line to where it is too much. Or that if I speak firmly with her I am not ABUSING her. But if someone hits her too hard, or says things that hurts her feelings to come tell me. How do i explain what is TOO MUCH of something we cant see or feel?