Its Not So Much ThatI Lost HER

as a friend that hurts so bad. Cause in reality people come and go in and out of our lives all the time. i could take or leave her. What hurts so bad is that this SAME shit KEEPS happening to me. and it hurts. and its like "what did i do?" and all that they says is "i dont wanna tell u how u are cause i dont wanna hurt ur feelings." andi lie to u not similar shit happns to me with women all the time. i WANT to be a women's rights advocate and empower women. buti feel like wtf for?? all hey do is fuckin be moody, and flighty, and ctty. and that shit is for the birds. a part of me feels like you can do those things for womens rights and ect butstill just not be friends and dont deal with them on a personal level.
i hurt because i begin to doubt who i am. i think like "damn am i THAT terrible of a person that noone wants to be around me and they keep huring me?"
But at the same time i STAY cunting my blessings. because my Ashley and Devin has stood by me through thick and thin. Yes he may annoy the hell outta me, and i him. but when i wake up he's there, and when i fall alseep he's there. i may not have A LOT of frinds, ut the few that i have really love me and have been down for me for some YEARS.
maybe certain people are jealous. jealous of the fact that im in a rlkatinship with my child's father and yes while we may not have the perfect relationsip i HAVE THE OPTION of fussing with someone and still being able to make up and be in my relationship.
on a ending note: iwanted to know if it was ok to speak to that person (the girl who no longer wants to be my fiend) i mean i thouht it was pretty imature n lame to noeven say HI when we were arond each other. lmaooooo she said no. so i was like "damn shes a BITCH" and devin as like " you cant call her a bitch, cause u have to remember that the reasony she doesnt want to be ur friend anymore s because of YOU not HER" i was like damn. but what did i do?? idk, idk how to put it. im angry. all that matters now is that shes out of my life wit her moody ss. i aint gotta worry with tha shit no more so "BLAH!! to that!