Just Writting

some general stuff.
This FRiday we were to be married. It was the date we set 6 mos ago. it will be sad to see it come and go with no wedding. but i feel waiting is what we should do. not too much longer. because if we want to be together there is no point in waiting too long. i just want to let a few more people know. and there are things that he makes me soooo angry about. i jsut be thinking "damn im glad we arent married yet" lol. but that doesnt take away from the fact that we want this. but there are some more things we need to get in order. you know what i hate? when i say that to my dad and he doesnt seem to understand. i mean...i do get his preassure...but geese. let it be MY LIFE. and NOW he's saying dont marry him. i just feel like i dont want ANYONE involved. i feel like if we talk to his parents they say " no not yet...whats the rush" my dad says "DONT". there is no support with what WE want. i feel like i dont want to tell anyone. just to avoid everyone's mouth.but if we were to do that and sneak sooo many people , or not even SO MANY, but his parents would be hurt. i just want them to support us.
anyway, i am searching DESPRATLY for a second job. to pay for school. i want to start THIS semester. its sooo important to me to start as soon as possible because i want to be done with school by the time poots starts school. im going to go to a two year college and i need to leave room for failed classes unforseen occurances ect. i am majoring in mental health or massage therapy. but right now its lookin more like mental health. i cant wait. the only down fall im seeing is that i wont be with poots much. ill have to be away from her during those class hours.
poots is getting sooo big already. doing sign language and reading. i LOOOOVE to hear her say "hello!" looool it sound like "leleleloo elloop!" shes always putting her hand up to her ear saying it. today she put her cookie to her ear saying "elloo eleloop!" i want to buy her some pediasure. shes so funky about what she eats. its a good nutrition fill.
drinking a lot of green tea and using mango and shea butters. my skin looks AMAZINGGG!! its smoother, and clearing up!! woooooo! FINALLY. ok, ive been using antibacterial soap, shea butter and ambi.