I Know He Has A Ring

I know it's a ring but i havnt seen what it looks like. I dont know if it's a regular gift ring or an engagment ring.

Kitten Stories: I'm Annoyed!

i have become very PARTICULAR about who gets the kittens when it is time for them to go to permanent homes. i damn near wish i could do background checks on people. Well, i have "friend" who is hell bend on getting one. i mean REALLY thinks will come to Maryland from Verginia and take one of my babies. UH HELL NO! And she wants to take it when it's 6 weeks and not 8 weeks (the age they are supposed to leave Egypt). Lemme tell u, this girl has a reputation that for taking care of animals that I HATE with a passion. She had a cat once b4 and put it out and by accident her husband at that time ran over the cat! i would just die if something happened to one of my babies. She only wants one because they are little and "cute" now (they always are in my eyes) and that damn bitch boy she calls a boyfriend is in jail. I cant stand his ass niether. I just know that if he gets out he's hurt my kitten, or get rid of it somehow. Fuckin hate how i feel. I have never feltlike i want to fight the way i want to if she tries to take a kitty. I wish i could. i'll get Devin to put her out. I think the best thing for me to do is not know who has them and not have a relationship with the person because i will ask about them and if something bad has happened i will want to hurt somebody. lol. i talk like i gave birth to them. lol. But thats how i feel. nobody knows how much joy they have bought me with thier fat, round, clumsy selves. lol. I just love them so much. sometimes i watch them suck on thier paws. It's adorable! lol. I will cry when i have to give them away.

i want to write

just for the therapy of it, to get some things off my chest but i dont even know where to begin or what to write. for the first time in my pregnancy i am so nervous that i dont know where to start. hmmmm...it's cold as CRAP outside and i'm mad about that. it's 16 degrees. WTF is 16 degrees?! I hate being cold. i wonder about Kira being cold and on the bus stop with Devin. i really need him to get a better job and a car. I broke my neck to get a second and to take care of the car for our daughter i feel he should too. By us (Devin and I) working TOTALLY different shifts it will be impossible for me to get her when i get off and get him to work on time with out him bringing her to my job in the morning. March is rainy and COLD. OH! What will i do? Cant have my baby cold on the bus stop. i wonder how my post pardum will be. I hope not bad. I dont deal well being depressed i know i'll take it out on Devin. lol. that would be bad beings though we will be living together with a new baby and all that. it would be a new difficult situation. me, post pardum with new baby and new live in boyfriends in small cramped apartment. I'm hyperventalating already.

NINE MONTHS PREGNANT: Only 27 Days To Go

I am so nervous and anxious. This is taking FOREVER! I cant wait til march 11 is finally here. I dont know what to do or write. She will be here sooo soon. This is so unreal to me. i cry so much, just wanting her to be ok and to arrive safely in my arms to kiss her belly and count her toes and fingers. I have never known a love like this . A feeling like this. I know that this is just the beginning of a lifetime of worry about her and her well being. but it would be so much better to just hurry and get this thing started. i havnt been writting much. i feel so overwhelmed.

Kira Had the Hiccups!! AWWWW

She's sooo cute! I love her soo much. My Kit Kat. (i keep changing her nick name). Last week i went flying to the labor and delivery department at St. JOes because while at work i was having sharp pains in my lower abs. i was scared at hell. i tried to stay calm and just go make sure my baby girl was alright. well, they hooked me up to a machine so we could monitor her heart rate and see my contractions. Her heart rate stayed between 130-150's i was happy about that. Her heart beat is like music to my ears. The best sound i'v ever heard. i could hear her everytime she moved and fumbled in my belly. she was rolling around. lol. Then...the funniest thing. i could feel little jumps and hear it too, but i didnt know what it was. The next time the nurs came in, i asked her what that was because it didnt sound like a heart beat. she said "oh she has the hiccups." I almost cried. They REALLY sound like hiccups. lol. So little and cute. lol. i wonder what i aet that gave them to her. Then i felt sorry for her cause hiccups are annoying. lol. i just rubbed my belly and listened to her hiccups. i counted 28 b4 a drifted of to sleep.

Just Me

Well, i feel a little better because i got my hair done. lol. it cost 150 bucks but u cant put a price on ur emotions. lol. it's cool. i am sooo pissed at myself because i did not attain any of my goals that i really wanted to this month. i will be honest and write that i have NO money saved, no baby stuff, i havnt read anything, and my house is in mid shambles. GRRRRR! I'm so pissed at myself. Thats the only person i can be mad at is me.
Braxton Hicks Contractions: Totally kicking my ass. lol. They come at the wierdest times. like when i'm trying to get comffy to go to sleep, or when i want to just sit. I have to really get my mind and body ready for labor. cause if those thing arent even the real deal.........