Wednesday, July 21, 2010


i spend my time reading and writting alot in my journal. i plan on transferring alot of what i have written to this blog, but i have to do a lot of editing because most of it is just tooo personal. But i have been balling up in a yoga ball (LITERALLY..i LOVE yoga. but more on that later) and pretty much staying to myself. i have had alot of conversation with Jehovah, a lot of conversation with myself ect. i find that reading books takes me out of MY reality, and put me somewhere eles. somewhere, where unlike my lfe...if i choose the bok correctly , the outcome is ALWAYS positive. When im reading i dont have to deal with people. Although i love peole, i just find that it seems when i interact with them, theres sooo much drama.i either hurt them, or they hurt me. So iv poured myself into mentally escaping. Iv poured myself into training my mind and body. instead of being SOOO concerned with people and carnel things, i am more concerned with the spiritual. and trying to train/open my spiritual eyes further. I LOVE IT. i love the results. i am more connected to my daughter as a result. Devin and i still struggle, but not NEARLY a much as before. He's still my darling, darling angel though. i love him sooo much. and i pray for him more then he ever knows. i fuss, i cry, im a mess. but that man is my back bone, and if it werent for him i dont know where i'd be. he has saved my life in more ways then he will EVER know. im sooo appreciative that he is my husband. He may not be perfect....but hes beter then MOST loosers out hear. and i am willing and able to stick around for his growth and his company.
i am focused on seeing people SPIRITS and feeling SPIRITS in a area, vs just what i can SEE with my eye. There is soo much PAST the physical universe that most people dont concern themselves with. we are in a spiritual warfare and yo never know just when you'll be in a physical one. thats y i feel that it is JUST as important to train up the body, just as you would your mind. i think its important to fast and exercise ,do endiurance training for the mind and body. i believe keeping a clean and fit body allows God's holy spirit to operate more efficiantly through it.i hear his voice better when i am clean inside and out
i have second job also. the training for it has been GRULLING!! UGGG!!! but once i get through this part, i will be able to make my own schedule and do what i want. so im pleased with my secod job. but my MAIN job has been going a bit haywire, because my boss pretty much up and quit on us, and we have no boss now. so iv been working like EVERYDAY with no BREAK for the past 21 nights in a row. i try not to complain, because lawd knows i need the money, and i think about people who have worked 7 days a week for YEARS...but BOY am i tired. to keep myself rejuvinated and going, i keep strict regimen of reading
i know that my reward is in heaven and Jehovah sees all my struggles, he will not let my hard work go unnoticed. so i have peace right now in my life. im not letting things worry/ bother me. i know everything is going to be a-ok!!

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