Monday, October 6, 2008

THIS WEEKEND: Victoria's Secret Foolery

so i walk into Victoria's Secret this weekend. So sick and tired of having grandma bras that do noting to flatter my rediculously hott shape. lol. it's so hard for me to find the right kind of bra for my body because i'm small around with really large boobs. this caused me so hurt and trauma as a youngster. mmm...i rememebr as a newly blooming teenager standing in the middle of the department store crying because i couldnt wear the bras i wanted and saw the other girls wearing. my mom wouldnt let me wear anything nice that say me up and had a push up and padding in it because she didnt want to draw unnecessary attention to them. well now i pay for not having the proper bra as a youth because they sag. and i would rather have small saggy boobs then big saggy boobs. but i digress. these are the boobs i have been given and these are the boobs that nurish and care for my child. so i stand in victoria's secrety mezmerised by the lace and colors. the assistand measures and andi am a 34 around and about a DD cup. well, we try on DD cup and i am still spilling out of that. aint this some shit? she tells me "well, i wasnt sure at first now i know u are about a 34 DDD. WTF?! DDD?! so ok, "well can i have this bra in 34 DDD?" "we dont go past DD.i would recommend u go to this place on Riesterstown rd called We Fit and get a custom made bra. your fit will be damn near impossible to find in retail stores because your body is so small around yet u have large breast." Excuse me Victoria Secret? Are you telling me that i am denied my right to wear lacy, sexy under wear because u dont want to go up that high?! i'm suein! lmaooooo. but i will not be deterred! somewhere on this earth there is sexy underwear for big boobs with small waist. maybe i will make aline. like the apple bottoms jeans. jeans cut for women with big butts and a small waist. at any rate i had half a mind to buy that too small bra anyways and stuff my boobs in it. but i thought "nah! lemme stop. before i walk out of here lookin two kinds of ghetto and tacky." true foolywang material!


Eb the Celeb said...
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Eb the Celeb said...

Making a line might not be a bad idea... niche clothing is really doing well... I heard pzi jeans is really starting to pick up... the fit is 10times better than apple bottoms.