Just Writting

Feeling good but a little overwhelmed. I have been running all around town trying to find another job. and trying to handle my business. I have filled out so many applications. I just hope something comes through really soon. I have been trying to do too many things at once. I have been trying to find an apartment AND trying to find a second job all at once. I think i just , no, i KNOW i just need to focus on getting a second job first. My resume look sreally nice. so i like that. This weekend i will focus COMPLETELY on filling out as many applications as i possibly can. Also, i want to focus on going back to school . So tomorrow or Friday I will take a ride up to Tesst and see what i need to reenroll and change my major. Yes, i will change my major. I hope that is a smart move. Medical Assisting just is not where my heart is. I think maybe I would like to get more into computers. Something where I dont have to deal too much with people. I have also decided to give the van back to my dad and get a car ON MY OWN. I dont want to be under the wing of my parents anymore, that is another reason why i want to move out of the apartment that i have been living in for the past year. Cause my mom is my landlord. They will neversee me as a independent WOMEN and MOTHER if i keep depending on them, and it will just keep giving them reason to control me . NOT FEELING IT.

I have heartburn so bad. I hate this. I cant belive I only have one more day til i can find out what my baby is. I cant wait to be able to address it by it's name and sex. And begin to shop for it. lol. There is so much to do and so little time. lol. There has to be another job available in the Baltimore area. Why is it so hard to do this? To find one. I want my baby to know and feel that i do everyting for it. I love it so much. I will give my life for it and will do everything in my power to protect and provide for it, 3, 4, 5x's more what i had. And i had it good growing up.

I wish my mom and I were closer during this stage in my life. I wish she would be in the room with me while I give birth. I could die, but i guess that doesnt matter. I dont even know if she would come if my dad comes. I hope so , i'll ask her. hop eshe doesnt say anything to piss me off though when i do ask her. lol. I hope it's not that serious for her. Maybe she has thought about it over the months and feels differently now. I hope so .

So, I have begain a new challenge for myself. Starting today I have decided to eat and live like how i am supposed to for the rest of my pregnancy because i have eatting everything under the sun and not exercising like i know i should so here are the details:
1. exercise daily
2.protective hair style
3. no stress
4. no junk foods
5.vitamins
6. water, water, water

I think I can keep up with that. THis weeken I have sooomuch to do. GOSH!!
1. pay my bills
-rent
-car note
-car insurance
2.Go to the Grocery store
3.Go to the laundromat
4.Walmart:
-clothse detergent
-blender
-other nic naks
5.Get my social Security Card
6. drop off / fill out more applications
7. ultrasound on Friday.
8.Clean my house
9. Cook for this week

so i guess i'm done this post. Iwill write and let you all know how things go