Some of these questions are going to take me to a deep place that I may not want to put on the internet. However, I said I was going to do it so here goes.
My dream life would have my family reunited. Not with Devin but closer to my kids. Since the separation I feel so distant from my children, and even though time heals all wounds and we're getting used to it , the sting of being apart from them all week still hurts. Especially on Sundays when they have to go back home. The children would be HAPPIER than they are now. Seems like since we separated they've changed. Devin is much more spoiled acting and Poots is just quieter. To herself more. Of coarse, that could just be here growing up. My life would be rich, filled with many of memories for the kids. We would go out every weekend to restaurants and to do stuff. I would be a smoke free, vegetarian. I would be a dancer and a yoga teacher/ practitioner. I would be easier on myself, but a lot more disciplined. All of us would be more disciplined. My home would be two bedroom, spotlessly cleaned and full of games to play and stuff to do. I would have never been Disfellowshipped from the JWs. I would go to school and get a degree. I get nervous about going back to school because I don't want to fail or suffer any set backs because I know that would throw me off my path. I would love my degree so that I don't have to work two jobs
As I type this I realize most of the things I've written in this posts are achievable if I practice a little more self discipline and consistency. My biggest thing is that I want to stop smoking. Be disciplined enough to do that and I would be much happier.
No comments:
Post a Comment